Youth Online Safety, Security, Privacy, and Digital Literacy
- The White Hatter
- Aug 30, 2022
- 21 min read
Updated: May 17
Chapter 4: Youth Online Safety, Security, Privacy, and Digital Literacy: A Parent's Guide
Personal Safety Consequences
When the internet and social media first became popular, one of the biggest concerns parents had was:
“How do I protect my child from physical harm online—more specifically, sexual predation by a stranger?”
Many parents will recall the 2004 Dateline NBC show To Catch a Predator, hosted by Chris Hansen. After this series aired, it left many believing that online stranger predation was an epidemic.
But is it?
Yes—online sexual predation is a reality that parents need to be alive to. However, it is not at the epidemic levels some may believe.
In a 2018 peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, Dr. Sheri Madigan and her research team found that of the 18,272 youth surveyed, only 1 in 9 had experienced any form of online sexual solicitation.
These findings align with the lived experiences of the 500,000+ teens we’ve presented to. Again, it’s real, but we must also remain grounded in facts—not fear.
What many parents don’t realize is that when it comes to online sexual predation, it’s often not the stranger we need to worry about. Instead, it’s more likely to be someone the youth—and their family—knows, loves, or trusts.
We will discuss this further later in this web book.
Psychological and Emotional Safety Consequences
Psychological and emotional challenges are often overlooked when discussing onlife safety. Yet these can be just as harmful as physical risks, and they include:
Exposure to disturbing, unfiltered content
Sleep deprivation that leads to learning challenges
Engagement in problematic online behavior
Onlife bullying, harassment, and peer conflict
We will explore these emotional and psychological risks further throughout this e-book.
Reputation and Legal Safety Consequences
In today’s onlife world, a teen’s digital dossier—everything they post, share, like, or comment on—can have social, academic, professional, and legal consequences that follow them for life.
Examples include:
Using technology in class without permission, which disrupts learning
Cheating on exams using smartwatches or phones
Hacking into school systems to change grades or conduct criminal mischief
Case Study: Academic Cheating
At one high school we visited, a teacher caught a senior student using his Apple Watch to cheat during an exam. This is why many post-secondary institutions and even high schools now ban smart devices in testing environments.
Case Study: Hacking for Grades and Crypto
At another school, a Grade 10 student hacked into the school system to change grades. In a separate case, a group of Grade 10 students used school computers to data-mine cryptocurrency. And at a third school, a Grade 10 student launched a DDoS (Distributed Denial-of-Service) attack that crashed the entire school district's network.
Notice a trend? In all these cases, the students were in Grade 10.
Academic and Employment Consequences
A funny or edgy post today can become a serious liability tomorrow when that same student is applying to a college, university, or job.
As one college sports coach bluntly put it:
"Recruits, social media matters. I dropped 15 recruits this year because of what I saw on their Twitter—explicit images, racist words, demeaning posts. Your thumbs are killing your opportunities."
In 2018, Kaplan reported that social media is considered fair game in the admissions process. Many colleges, universities, and employers now use it as part of their evaluation and filtering processes.
Even if a teen is accepted into a program or receives a scholarship, that can be revoked based on post-acceptance online behaviour.
Canadian Medical Schools and Social Media
A 2016 study in the Canadian Medical Education Journal found that:
“Many schools had examined social media profiles to acquire information on applicants.”“None used it explicitly to screen all applicants, but a sizeable proportion admitted using it to corroborate indications of worrisome behaviour.”
Case Study: Harvard Revocations
In 2017, ten students accepted into Harvard University had their offers rescinded after they posted offensive and sexually explicit memes in a private Facebook group.
Case Study: YouTube and NCAA Violations
Also in 2017, a University of Central Florida football player lost his athletic scholarship because he monetized his YouTube channel, violating NCAA rules. When asked to shut it down, he refused.
Employment Consequences
According to CareerBuilder.com, 70% of employers surveyed said they review a candidate’s social media presence as part of the hiring process.
Case Study: Resume vs. Reality
One candidate told a potential employer that he hadn’t taken a vacation in three years. But a quick look at his public social media revealed frequent vacation photos. Further investigation revealed past terminations due to absenteeism and job abandonment.
Even after getting hired, your digital footprint can impact employment.
Case Study: Termination for Offensive Content
In 2018, an employee in British Columbia was fired after mocking the death of a Sikh elder on social media. Despite the post being made outside work hours, the termination was upheld.
Case Study: Racist Comments = Job Loss
In 2020, an ICBC employee was terminated after posting racist tweets. Courts and labor tribunals have consistently ruled that if social media posts negatively affect a business, termination may be justified—even if the content was shared outside of work.
Renting and Living Consequences
As teens move out for school or work, they’ll need to rent apartments or condos. Today, many landlords will check an applicant’s digital footprint.
Case Study: Landlord Denial Based on Social Media
A couple renting properties near a Canadian university reviewed a potential renter’s public posts and found content about partying, drug use, and alcohol. Based on this, they denied the application.
As digital literacy company Social Assurity put it:
“Your kid’s social media has become the cover letter they didn’t know they were sending and the online virtual interview they didn’t know was taking place.”
Your Teen’s Digital Brand Matters
We encourage teens to use their social media to build a positive online brand that says:
"Pick me for your scholarship."
"Pick me for your job opening."
"Pick me for your rental unit."
Ask your teen:
What would a college recruiter think of your Instagram?
What would a future employer think of your TikTok?
What would your teacher or coach say about your Twitter?
As we tell students:
“You are not obliged to post anything—but anything you do post may be used as evidence in a court of law, a job interview, a scholarship application, or a rental agreement.”
Accuracy of Information Consequences
When we were in high school, doing research for an essay or project meant digging into encyclopedias or heading to the public library. Today, teens don’t use encyclopedias or libraries—they use ChatGPT, Google, Wikipedia, or YouTube.
With the ease of access that search engines provide, teens also need the ability to separate fact from fiction and think critically about what they’re reading, watching, or hearing online.
This is where “filter bubbles,” also known as algorithms, come into play. These are automated systems that predict and prioritize what information you see based on your past online behaviours. They’re tracking you—24/7.
When Google first launched in 1998, if you and a friend both searched the word basketball, your top 10 results would have been the same. Today, your search results will likely look completely different—even with the same query. Don’t believe us? Try it with a friend outside your home and compare.
Why This Matters
Let’s say a teen is experiencing a medical issue and doesn’t want to talk to a parent or doctor. Instead, they turn to “Dr. Google” to self-diagnose. But here’s the problem: Is the information they’re seeing accurate or dangerously misleading?
A 2017 study from the University of Waterloo titled The Positive and Negative Influence of Search Results on People’s Decision About the Efficacy of Medical Treatment found:
“Search engine results can significantly influence people both positively and negatively. Importantly, study participants made more incorrect decisions when they interacted with search results biased toward incorrect information than when they had no interaction with search results at all.”
In other words: Searching the internet for medical advice can leave you less informed and more at risk.
Why is this a concern?
72% of U.S. internet users searched for health information online in the past year
35% tried to self-diagnose a medical condition
Plus, when teens do this, they may be unintentionally revealing private health concerns to search engines like Google, which collect, track, and monetize that data.
Case Study: The Misdiagnosed Selfie
A UK doctor shared the story of a patient who experienced persistent stomach pain and weight loss. The patient self-diagnosed online and assumed it was diet-related. When the pain intensified and urination became painful, she again turned to the internet and concluded it was a UTI. She delayed seeing a doctor. When she finally did—six months later—it was revealed she had advanced cervical cancer.
Parent Tip: Teach Teens to Fact-Check
Here are three excellent tools to help separate facts from fiction:
MediaSmarts Canada Fact Search Tool
This tool searches multiple reputable fact-checking sites, including Snopes, FactScan, and FactCheck.org.
Common Sense Media Parent Fact-Check Guide
Google Fact Check Explorer
Privacy Challenges
In 2017, one of the most popular apps used by teens was an anonymous messaging app called Sarahah. Not only was it free, but it allowed for cross-platform communication—meaning iPhones could message Android phones and vice versa.
But here’s what most teens didn’t know: Sarahah was quietly uploading the entire address book from the user’s phone.
Although this was clearly stated in Sarahah’s Terms of Service (TOS)—which users had to agree to in order to download the app—teens (and most adults) rarely, if ever, read these terms. The attitude tends to be:“It’s a cool app. Everyone’s using it. It must be safe.”
Unfortunately, that assumption can put privacy at serious risk.
Nothing Online Is Ever Truly Free
In every teen presentation we deliver, we emphasize this message:
“Nothing is ever free.”
When youth use free apps, what they’re actually paying with is their personal and sometimes very intimate information—stored on their phones, tablets, or computers. Companies collect this data, monetize it, and sell it to third-party advertisers.
This is a multi-billion-dollar industry built on user data.
As Daniel Lyons from Newsweek once said:
“The most important thing to understand about most social networks is that you are not their customer—you are their inventory. You are the product a social network is selling. Most social networks’ real customers are advertisers. You, as a member, are only useful because you can be packaged up and sold to advertisers. The more information they can get from you, the more you’re worth.”
We need to drill home this truth with our kids:
Everything they do online—regardless of their privacy settings—is public, permanent, searchable, exploitable, copyable, shareable, and likely for sale. Nothing is ever truly private online.
Case Study #1 – TikTok Fined $5.7 Million
In 2019, the U.S. government fined TikTok $5.7 million for covertly collecting children’s data without parental consent.
Case Study #2 – YouTube Fined $170 Million
That same year, YouTube paid $170 million to settle allegations that it collected children’s personal data in violation of COPPA (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act).
Case Study #3 – TikTok Pays $92 Million
In 2021, TikTok paid $92 million to settle a class-action lawsuit over unauthorized data collection and the use of facial recognition technology.
Case Study #4 – Google Sued for $5 Billion
Also in 2021, Google faced a $5 billion class-action lawsuit for allegedly tracking users in “incognito mode.”
Want to Increase Your Family’s Privacy?
Start by moving away from Google—one of the biggest collectors of personal data.
Although it’s the best-known browser and search engine, there are excellent alternatives that offer greater privacy.
Recommended Browsers:
Brave Browser – https://brave.com
Recommended Search Engines:
DuckDuckGo – https://duckduckgo.com
StartPage – https://www.startpage.com
Pair one of these browsers with a private search engine to reduce tracking and improve online privacy.
Email Privacy
Many don’t realize that when using Gmail, Google scans and data-mines all emails, including those in draft form.
Looking for private, encrypted alternatives? Try:
ProtonMail – https://protonmail.com
GMX Mail – https://www.gmx.com
Stop Third-Party Trackers
Use a browser extension like Privacy Badger to stop advertisers and other trackers from following your online behavior.
🔗 https://privacybadger.org(Note: Supported on Chrome, Firefox, Edge, and Opera—not Safari.)
Never Use Social Media Accounts to Log Into Other Apps
Using your Google, Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter account to log into third-party apps gives those apps access to your data. Always opt to create a unique login instead.
To remove existing third-party app permissions, use these links:
Parent Tip: Never allow your child to use social media credentials to sign in to third-party sites or apps. It creates major privacy vulnerabilities.
Real-World Case Study: How a Private Phone Number Was Exposed
One of our followers, a survivor of sexual assault, shared her chilling story (with permission) of how her attacker found her more than 25 years later—because her sister posted a screenshot on Facebook that unknowingly contained her phone number.
This tragic incident reminds us that:
Even one public post, made years ago, can have serious consequences.
Oversharing online—even unintentionally—can compromise safety.
This powerful story will be shared in full later in this e-book to emphasize the life-altering consequences of digital privacy breaches.
10 Steps to Secure Your Digital Devices
To reduce your family’s digital risks, these 10 steps can help secure phones, tablets, and computers from both criminal and unintended misuse.
1) Lock Devices
If your device is lost or left unattended, a passcode or biometric lock (fingerprint or facial recognition) helps ensure that no one else can access the data inside.
Parent Tip: Teach your child to create strong passwords or use biometrics. For added security, avoid using easily guessable codes like 1234 or birthdates.
2) Keep Operating Systems (OS) Updated
Software updates often include security patches that close vulnerabilities hackers might exploit. When an update becomes available, download and install it promptly—across all devices.
3) Use Premium Anti-Malware
Avoid free antivirus software. Instead, invest in a reputable premium anti-malware program for all family devices.
At The White Hatter, we use:
Bitdefender – https://www.bitdefender.com
4) Enable Remote Find and Wipe Options
If your phone or tablet is lost or stolen, you need to either locate it or wipe it remotely to prevent data theft.
Apple Devices:🔗 Find My iPhone – Apple Support
Android Devices:🔗 Find My Device – Google
5) Back Up Device Data
Before using remote wipe or performing any update, ensure important data is backed up to the cloud or an external hard drive. This way, your information is not lost and can be restored later.
6) Encrypt or Use Vault Apps for Sensitive Info
Have sensitive documents, notes, or images? Store them in encrypted vault apps that require a password or biometric unlock.
Example: Use apps like KeePass, ProtonDrive, or Apple Notes (locked) for this purpose.
7) Log Out of Accounts When Done
Staying logged in makes it easy for someone with access to your device to also access your email, social media, or financial accounts.
Always log out of shared or public devices. And turn off "Remember Me" where possible.
8) Be Wary of Open Wi-Fi – Use a VPN
Free Wi-Fi in cafés, hotels, airports, and malls can expose you to “man-in-the-middle attacks,” where hackers intercept your traffic.
Private Internet Access – https://www.privateinternetaccess.com
9) Only Download Apps from Official App Stores
Avoid downloading apps from random websites or third-party stores. These may contain malware or spyware.
Stick to Apple’s App Store or Google Play for security-vetted apps.
10) Don’t Save Passwords in Browsers – Use a Password Locker
If your device is compromised, saved passwords can be used to access your accounts. Also, avoid storing them in your Notes app.
Use a password locker instead.We recommend:
LastPass – https://www.lastpass.com
Bonus Tip: A Helpful Resource
Looking for a centralized place to manage your privacy settings across platforms?🔗 Stay Safe Online Privacy Settings Portal:https://staysafeonline.org/resources/manage-your-privacy-settings
This guide covers settings for social networks, gaming sites, apps, and more.
Copyright Consequences
In 2014, a Canadian company called Canipre was contracted by the entertainment industry to help enforce the Copyright Act in Canada. Their mission? To identify Canadians who were illegally downloading movies, music, software, games, and videos—without paying.
Canipre reported collecting information on over five million Canadians who had downloaded copyrighted material unlawfully. Under Canadian law, both teens and adults could face statutory damages of up to $5,000 per violation.
Important Note: Canipre is still active and continues to pursue violators of Canada’s Copyright Act today.
What Happens If You’re Caught?
If you receive a “Statement of Claim” from a rights holder or their law firm, it means:
You are being sued.
You have 30 days to respond by filing a Statement of Defence and serving it on the studio.
If you don’t respond, they can request a default judgment against you—without your input.
That judgment can include monetary damages, enforceable against your bank accounts, wages, or property.
This information comes from McInnes Cooper, a Canadian law firm that defends clients served with copyright violation claims.
Case Study: $3,500 Lesson in Piracy
We met a first-year University of Victoria student who received a Statement of Claim after downloading a pirated movie through a BitTorrent site. He thought it was harmless.
He ended up facing a $3,500 statutory damage claim—all for a movie he could have rented or streamed legally for under $10.
Parent Tip:Many youth don’t understand that digital theft is still theft. Illegally downloading content can result in legal action and major financial consequences that follow them into adulthood.
Identity, Property, and Community Safety Consequences
Criminals have adapted extremely well to the onlife world when it comes to conducting illegal enterprises.
Case Study #1: Burglary via Social Media Clues
A BC family announced on their Facebook page that they were heading out of town to attend a hockey game in Vancouver. Because of this post, thieves were able to identify the family’s residence using basic online investigative techniques. After determining the address, they entered it into Google Maps to plan their route. Once they identified the street, they used Google Street View to examine the property and then used Google Satellite View to get a 360-degree view of the home and plan an undetected point of entry.Not only did the criminals clean out the house of valuables, but they also found a spare key to a vehicle on the property, loaded it with stolen items, and drove away.
At every school we visit, we’re often amazed by how many students—and even educators—have open social media profiles such as Facebook or Instagram. These open accounts frequently contain personal information that can be used to steal a person’s identity.
Case Study #2: Identity Theft via Social Creeping
An identity thief “creeps” an open social network and gathers enough personal information to apply for a credit card under the victim’s name. The thief has the card sent to a post office box registered under the victim’s identity to avoid detection.Once they receive the card, they pretend to be the victim, max it out, and never pay the balance.Months later, when the victim applies for a student or car loan, a credit check reveals an unpaid $5,000 credit card debt. With no prior knowledge of being targeted, the loan is denied, and their credit rating is negatively affected.This is a real case we assisted on.
In 2018, a research study conducted by Javelin Strategy on child identity theft and fraud found:
“More than one million children were victims of identity fraud in a single year, resulting in total losses of $2.6 billion and more than $540 million in out-of-pocket expenses to families. Statistically, minors are at far greater risk of identity breaches than adults: it has been estimated that one in four minors will have their identities stolen before they reach the age of maturity.”
Why are youth primary targets? Because they have what identity thieves refer to as “virgin credit”—untouched and easy to exploit. Combine that with the oversharing habits of many teens (and adults), and it creates a goldmine of targets for fraudsters.
In May 2021, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre issued a national bulletin reporting that identity theft had reached significant levels in Canada.
Identity theft is yet another reason we must emphasize to teens that everything they post online is public, permanent, searchable, exploitable, copyable, shareable—and often for sale.
Watch our interview with online crime prevention expert Julie Clegg:https://youtu.be/QZG9wErrfNk
Self-Injury Consequences
Texting Injuries
In December 2019, a study published by the American Medical Association found:
“The number of head and neck injuries related to cell phone use increased steadily over a 20-year period. These findings suggest that growing dependence on cell phones may require steps to promote safe use practices.”
A 2013 U.S. study reported that injuries caused by walking while texting or talking were rising year-to-year, with 1,506 emergency room visits in 2010, up from 256 in 2005.📖 Study Link
Interestingly, 69% of these injuries were due to talking on the phone while walking, while only 9% were due to texting.
We often speak in our presentations about the term “wexting”—walking and texting simultaneously—which can lead to unforeseen consequences.
The National Safety Council estimates that 44 teens are hit by vehicles each day in the U.S. because they were walking and talking on their phones.The U.S. Governors Highway Safety Association reported over 6,000 pedestrian deaths in 2018 associated with mobile device distractions.
Selfies in Dangerous Situations
For the perfect selfie, some teens intentionally put themselves in hazardous situations—like in front of oncoming trains, near wild animals, or on the edges of cliffs and buildings.
In 2018, the Journal of Family Medicine and Primary Care reported:
“More than 250 people worldwide died while taking selfies over a six-year span.”(Oct 2011 – Nov 2017)
Case Study #1
An 18-year-old hiker died in 2018 after falling off a cliff at Yosemite National Park while trying to take a selfie at Nevada Falls.
Case Study #2
A California woman fell to her death in Michigan’s Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore in 2018 while taking a selfie near a cliff’s edge.
Online Challenge Consequences
Online challenges can go viral and range from harmless (like the Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS awareness) to dangerous (like the Fire Challenge). Many dangerous challenges resurface every 2–3 years.
Here are some that have caused serious harm:
The Cinnamon Challenge – can trigger respiratory emergencies
The Choking Challenge – can lead to brain damage or death
The Tide Pod Challenge – causes chemical burns to mouth and throat
The Fire Challenge – causes severe burns
The Milk Crate Challenge – leads to traumatic injuries
Case Study
In October 2019, a 12-year-old boy from Michigan attempted the Fire Challenge. He sprayed nail polish remover on his clothes and set it alight to post the video on YouTube. His upper body caught fire, causing second-degree burns to his chin, chest, and stomach.
Parenting Tip
Ask your child what online challenges are popular in their peer group. Research them together, and have open, non-judgmental discussions about potential harms.Remember: the teen brain isn’t wired to fully assess long-term consequences until after the fact.
Distracted Driving Consequences
Teen distracted driving—particularly due to cellphone use—is a major safety concern.
According to the Canadian Automobile Association (CAA):📖 Source
Mobile phone use contributes to 1.6 million crashes in Canada annually
95% of Canadian teen drivers know texting while driving is dangerous
Yet 35% admit to doing it anyway
In some provinces, distracted driving deaths exceed impaired driving deaths
Reading or sending a text takes your eyes off the road for 5 seconds—at 90 km/h, that’s like driving a football field with your eyes closed
According to the U.S. National Safety Council:📖 Source
Cellphone use contributes to 1.6 million U.S. crashes annually
400,000 injuries and 3,142 deaths result from distracted driving
Teen drivers are 4x more likely to crash while using their phone
On average, 11 teens die every day in texting-related crashes
Even though it’s illegal to use a phone while driving across Canada and most U.S. states, many continue to do so, wrongly believing they can multitask safely—a belief that research disproves.📖 Research Reference
Parenting Tip
Talk to your teen driver about the statistics and facts listed above. If your teen has a cellphone, enable the “Do Not Disturb While Driving” feature. This simple setting can help reduce the temptation to use their phone while behind the wheel.
Digital Hygiene Safety
According to the Canadian Consumer Technology Association, 86% of Canadians own a smartphone—with teen ownership increasing every year. We’ve personally seen students in grades 3 and 4 carrying iPhone 10s, a topic we’ll explore later in this web book.
With the convenience of smartphones comes the responsibility to protect the personal and sensitive information stored on them. At every school we visit, we ask students how many of them own a cellphone. Most hands go up. But when we ask how many have password-protected their device, significantly fewer hands remain raised.
It is essential that teens secure their phones with a password that is at least six characters long—and ideally longer—using a combination of uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers, and symbols.
Here’s a simple method to help your teen create a strong and memorable password:
Pick an easy-to-remember phrase with at least six words.
Example: “my dog has fleas”
Capitalize the first letter of each word:
My Dog Has Fleas
Remove the spaces to create one word:
MyDogHasFleas
Replace:
every “e” with a “3”
every “a” with “@”
Result: MyDogH@sFl33
Add a symbol to the beginning or end.
Example: #MyDogH@sFl33s!
According to howsecureismypassword.net, it would take a hacking computer about one trillion years to crack that password.
Parent Tip
Make sure your family’s cellphone plan includes “port protection” to help prevent SIM-swapping crimes. Learn more here: https://bit.ly/3lVQdKs. Many Canadian cell providers don’t activate this by default—it’s a free opt-in service that you must request.
Another common risk teens face is sharing their passwords with their “BFFs.” Today’s friend could be tomorrow’s frenemy. Younger teens may feel social pressure to share as a sign of trust, while older teens may do it to prove commitment in a relationship.
Our message to teens: Treat your password like your toothbrush or underwear—don’t share it, and change it regularly.
Also, do not store your passwords in the Notes app on your phone. As ethical hackers and investigators, the first place we look when accessing a phone is the Notes app—because many users store login credentials there. These can be easily harvested to access accounts, change passwords, and lock out the original user.
Instead, use a trusted, encrypted password manager. We recommend LastPass, available in both the Apple App Store and Google Play Store.
Parents, Keep a Secure Backup of Your Child’s Login Info
We recommend the following:
Parent Emergency Account List
Steps:
Have your child fill out the form with usernames and passwords, including for their phone.
Seal it in an envelope.
Store the envelope in a safe and private place.
Promise your child that you’ll never open it unless there’s an emergency.
Every six months, revisit the envelope with your child, and have them update the passwords. Regular updates are a key part of good digital hygiene.
Case Study
We supported a family whose daughter died in a tragic skiing accident. Among her personal effects was her iPhone—but they didn’t know the password. Multiple unsuccessful attempts led to the phone locking itself permanently. Apple, bound by strict privacy policies, was unable to assist. All the family wanted was access to their daughter’s photos. A heartbreaking reminder of things we don’t consider until it’s too late.
Update Mobile Software
Software updates patch security vulnerabilities that hackers often exploit. Teens should be encouraged to install updates regularly.
Case Study:We met a middle school student with an iPhone that hadn’t been updated in over two years. They were experiencing several glitches. Once shown how to run an update, the issues disappeared.
Free-Range Access Consequences
The internet is like the real world—full of incredible opportunities to learn, create, and connect. But just as we wouldn’t let our children wander unfamiliar city streets unsupervised, giving teens unfiltered, unrestricted access to the internet can put them in harm’s way.
In a 2018 study, Dr. Sheri Madigan and colleagues at the University of Calgary found that 1 in 5 teens who had free-range access online experienced unwanted exposure to sexually explicit material.
We often say:
"It’s not the app—it’s how the teen uses the app that determines the risk."
While most teen experiences online are positive, some platforms present more risk than others. At the time of writing, these apps/websites are among the most problematic:
Omegle
Emerald Chat
Monkey
Chatroulette
MYLOL
YOUNOW
Yubo
Cake
OmeTV
These are primarily communication-based platforms, allowing private messages, photo sharing, and live video streams—key channels for exploitation.
From Darren’s Experience
After 30 years as a police officer, Darren has seen disturbing behaviour—but some of what we’ve observed on these platforms goes beyond the pale. We’ve witnessed teens of all genders—and even adults—fapping (masturbating) on camera with one another. Yes, the internet is developing its own language, and we as parents need to understand it.
Parent Tip
We’ve been saying for years:
“The internet is creating a new language. If we don’t learn it, we can’t understand our kids.”
This new vocabulary—often called Aesopian language—is used to bypass platform moderation algorithms. Especially on TikTok, youth use coded words to avoid content being flagged, hidden, or removed. Examples include:
“unalive” instead of “dead”
“SA” for “sexual assault”
“spicy eggplant” for “vibrator”
“cornucopia” for “homophobia”
“leg booty” for “LGBTQ”
“nips nops” for “nipples”
“le dollar bean” for “lesbian”
“Bob Marley” for “marijuana”
“plug” for “drug dealer”
One of the best ways to learn this language? Engage with your child in their onlife world.Parental communication, participation, and appropriate overwatch can make all the difference.
Useful resources for decoding Aesopian language and online slang:
What If Teens Try to Stay Anonymous?
Some teens try to stay “safe” by masking their identities on camera. But anonymity is an illusion.
We worked on a case that played out like this:
A teen live-streams on Omegle while wearing a mask and fapping.
The viewer runs software to capture the teen’s IP address—which reveals the general location (e.g., Victoria, BC).
The viewer secretly records the stream.
The next day, the teen receives a threatening message:
“Hi, I’m Steve666. I was watching your stream yesterday. I know you live in Victoria, BC and attend Oak Bay High. I also found your Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook, and TikTok. I recorded everything. Unless you send $800 in Bitcoin or do what I say on webcam, I’ll share the video with your friends, family, and teachers—and lock you out of your accounts.”
This is called sextortion, and the perpetrators are often known as “cappers” or “catfishers”. We’ll cover this in more depth later in this web book
Final Thoughts on Digital Consequences
As we’ve explored in this chapter, the risks tied to youth technology use go far beyond the once-singular focus of “online stranger danger.” While physical safety remains a concern, it’s now just one piece of a much larger puzzle. The emotional, psychological, reputational, academic, legal, financial, and even physical self-injury risks are deeply interconnected in today’s onlife world.
But here’s the key takeaway for parents:Online risk does not mean online doom.
We must be careful not to fall into a “moral panic” trap—one that paints all technology as harmful or all youth as vulnerable. Just because there are risks doesn’t mean our children are destined to fall victim to them. What makes the biggest difference is the support system we create around them: the conversations we have, the boundaries we set, and the example we model.
Parents as Digital Mentors
As parents, we must shift from being digital police to becoming digital mentors. Policing is reactive. Mentorship is proactive. Policing says, “I caught you doing something wrong.” Mentorship says, “Let’s talk about what you might face and how to handle it before it happens.”
Your child may never experience sextortion, online bullying, or identity theft. But if they do—or a friend does—will they know what to do? Will they feel safe coming to you? That’s the heart of digital resilience.
What We Need to Remember
Digital footprints matter. Today’s teens are growing up in a world where what they post can follow them into adulthood—positively or negatively.
Privacy is power. Teaching our kids to value and protect their data is no longer optional; it’s essential.
Onlife safety is layered. It’s not just about stranger danger anymore. Emotional safety, mental wellness, and critical thinking skills are just as important.
Balance over bans. Total restriction can backfire. It’s better to create a culture of trust, openness, and shared learning.
As we move into the next chapters of this web book, we’ll dive deeper into specific issues such as sextortion, pornography, digital addiction, online gaming, and healthy device use in the home. Each section will be rooted in research, lived experiences, and real stories from youth and families we’ve worked with.
Let this be your guidebook—not just for managing risks—but for building resilience and nurturing positive digital habits that can help your child thrive both online and offline.
Because in the end, this isn’t just about protecting kids from the worst of the internet—it’s about preparing them to become the best version of themselves in a world where online and offline life are one and the same.
