A Balanced Perspective By Teens on their Use Of Technology & Why Their Voice Matters

Caveat - This blog article is written based on the 655,000 youth and teens that we have presented to and have interacted with both offline and online.

In discussions about technology and its impact on our children, we often hear one-sided narratives primarily from adults that are either a celebration of its endless potential, or a condemnation of its pitfalls. However, when we engage directly with teens in our programs about their use of technology, a striking and refreshing insight emerges, many of them approach the topic with a sense of balance, acknowledging both the positives and negatives.

This balanced perspective is a vital reminder for parents, caregivers, educators, and legislatures that if we want to guide our children effectively, we must start by listening to them.

In our conversations with youth and teens, it’s clear they are not oblivious to the risks of technology. They understand the dangers of cyberbullying, overuse, and privacy breaches to name a few. At the same time, they recognize and appreciate the benefits of technology which include access to information, opportunities for creativity, and ways to connect with others meaningfully.

One teen summarized this duality by stating to us:

“Technology and social media is a tool, and how we use it determines whether it’s helpful or harmful.” - YUP!

This nuanced understanding is often missing from adult-led debates about technology. Many teens feel that as a group they are unfairly painted by “some” adults as either hopelessly addicted, increasingly anxious, depressed and suicidal, or incapable of managing their online presence responsibly because of their use of technology.

Teens have shared with us that they understand that for vulnerable youth, social media can sometimes make those vulnerabilities more intense. But what they really want to know about is the “why”. Why are these vulnerabilities there, and what can be done to help reduce these vulnerabilities online with those who are most vulnerable? At the same time, teens also recognize and share with us that social media and technology can be incredibly empowering, amplifying positive experiences and helping them build confidence and agency which they find most parents and caregivers do not understand or acknowledge. 

The phrase “Nothing about us without us” captures an important truth; decisions about technology that impact teens should include their voices. Too often, adults make sweeping decisions about the use of smartphones, social media, or digital tools in the home, or at school, without consulting the very people these rules affect most, the teens themselves.

This exclusion not only fuels frustration among young people, but also misses an opportunity to tap into their unique perspectives. Including teens in conversations about technology fosters trust, collaboration, and solutions that resonate with their reality.

Devorah Heitner, a leading expert in digital literacy and parenting, emphasizes the importance of giving teens “voice and choice” when it comes to technology. She argues that empowering young people to make decisions about their digital lives helps them develop the skills they need to navigate the online world responsibly.

When teens feel heard and trusted, they are more likely to make thoughtful decisions. Conversely, when their voices are ignored, they may rebel against rigid rules or make impulsive choices out of frustration.

To support teens in maintaining a balanced perspective with technology, parents, caregivers, educators, and even legislators can:

1/Ask, Don’t Assume

Engage your teen in open-ended conversations about their online experiences. Questions like “What do you like most about social media?” or “What do you think are the biggest challenges of being online?” can provide valuable insights, and open up lines of meaningful communication about their use of technology.

2/Collaborate on Guidelines

Instead of imposing strict rules, work with your teen to set boundaries that make sense for your individual family. For example, agree on device-free times or zones, like bedrooms and bathrooms, rather than banning technology outright.

3/Acknowledge Their Expertise

Teens are often more tech-savvy than some adults. Ask them to share what they know about new apps, platforms, online gaming, or trends. This not only validates their knowledge, but also creates opportunities for them to educate you as the parent, caregiver, or educator.

4/Model Healthy Behaviour

Show your teen what balanced tech use looks like. Avoid being glued to your phone during family time, and demonstrate the importance of taking breaks from screens.

5/Encourage Critical Thinking

Help your teen analyze the content they consume online. Discuss how algorithms work, how to spot misinformation, and the impact of their digital footprint.

Teens today are growing up in a world where technology is woven into nearly every aspect of their lives. We find that most teens are navigating today’s onlife world with a balance and thoughtfulness that is often overlooked by many adults. Most understand both the risks and benefits of technology and social media, offering insights that challenge the stereotypes of them being either reckless or hopelessly dependent on their devices.

By including teens in conversations about technology, parents, educators, and policymakers have the opportunity to build trust, foster collaboration, and create guidelines that resonate with the realities of young people’s lives. When we ask questions, collaborate on boundaries, and acknowledge their expertise, we empower teens to make informed, responsible decisions about their onlife world.

The phrase “Nothing about us without us” serves as a vital reminder that decisions about technology should not exclude the voices of the very people these choices impact most - our kids. Teens are not just users of technology; they are participants in shaping its future. By listening to and learning from them, we can help them embrace technology’s potential while mitigating its risks, fostering a generation that uses digital tools responsibly and confidently.

As parents and caregivers, we have a unique opportunity to support our children by listening to their perspectives, giving them a voice in decisions, and helping them make informed choices. By doing so, we empower them to use technology in ways that enhance their lives while minimizing its risks.

After all, when it comes to technology and our teens, the goal should not be control, it should be collaboration!

Digital Food For Thought

The White Hatter

Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech