Online Relationships: From Real Connections to AI Companions
- The White Hatter
- Jun 3
- 8 min read
Last week, we worked with a 14-year-old girl who was genuinely upset. Her “boyfriend’s” social media account had been hacked, and she was desperate to know how to help. At first glance, it seemed like a typical teen drama, but as we listened more closely, something important emerged, she had never actually met this “boyfriend” in real life. Their entire relationship existed online.
What’s critical here is that this wasn’t a case of grooming or deception (although it could have been). The boy was a real teen, not pretending to be someone else. They had built a digital connection that, to her, was emotionally significant. While this kind of relationship might seem confusing or even illegitimate to many parents, it’s increasingly common among today’s youth.
Welcome to the evolving landscape of relationships for Generation Z and Generation Alpha, where emotional bonds are just as likely to form through a screen as in the school hallway. This shift introduces a new challenge for parenting in today’s onlife world, which is understanding what types of relationships youth are forming and how they perceive them.
Having spoken to over 655,000 youth and teens, we’ve identified three main categories of relationships that today’s young people often engage in and are learning to navigate:
In-person reciprocal relationships
Online reciprocal relationships
Online parasocial relationships
Since most of us as adults grew up experiencing in-person reciprocal relationships, we have a solid understanding of what those look and feel like. However, it's especially important to recognize the difference between the two newer types of online relationships, because while both happen in digital spaces, only one involves genuine mutual interaction between two real individuals.
To teens, saying “he’s my boyfriend” or “she’s my girlfriend” doesn’t require having ever stood next to that person in a school hallway. Their online spaces are their social spaces where relationships can be built.
When parents react by saying, “But you’ve never even met them,” it can sound dismissive. Teens may hear, “Your feelings aren’t valid.” That can shut down communication and undermine trust. Instead, this is an opportunity to understand how they are forming meaningful bonds in new and different ways.
What Is an Online Reciprocal Relationship?
An online reciprocal relationship is a genuine connection between two real people who consistently and consensually engage with one another through digital platforms. These relationships are built on consent, shared communication, emotional exchange, and mutual investment, even if the individuals have never met in person. Teens in these relationships might talk daily through messaging apps, FaceTime, or multiplayer games. They may support each other through tough times, celebrate milestones, and form a strong emotional bond. In many ways, the connection mirrors the closeness found in offline friendships or dating relationships, just without the physical proximity. Think of it as a modern version of the pen-pal of our generation when we were teens.
It’s important for parents and caregivers to understand that these digital relationships can be very real in the emotional lives of youth. They offer comfort, companionship, and support in ways that are meaningful. Just because the relationship exists through screens doesn’t mean it’s superficial. In fact, these relationships often thrive on deep conversation and vulnerability, especially when teens feel safer opening up online than they might face-to-face. Many of these relationships have lead to in-person reciprocal relationships that then lead to marriage.
Online reciprocal relationships are mutual and consensual. Both parties are aware of each other’s real identity, and both contribute emotionally. They may send messages, check in on one another’s wellbeing, share personal stories, and create inside jokes, just as they would if they were in-person offline. These are not parasocial relationships. They are digital, but authentic.
What Is a Parasocial Relationship?
A parasocial relationship is fundamentally one-sided. In this kind of connection, a person (in this case, often a teen) feels emotionally attached to someone, or something, that does not reciprocate those feelings in a human, mutual way. Traditionally, parasocial relationships involved celebrities, influencers, or fictional characters. A teen might feel like they “know” a YouTuber, Twitch streamer, or TikTok star, even though that person has no idea they exist. This illusion of intimacy can be powerful, and sometimes confusing, especially for younger teens still developing emotional literacy.
However, today, a new and more complex and troubling form of parasocial relationship has emerged, one built with artificial intelligence commonly knows as companionship apps. (1)(2)(3)
AI companionship apps like Replika, Character.ai, and even chatbot features embedded in platforms like Snapchat have introduced emotionally responsive AI designed to mimic human interaction. These bots can carry on long conversations, recall previous chats, offer affirmations, and even simulate romantic affection. To a teen seeking connection or struggling with loneliness, these AI “companions” can feel attentive, caring, and deeply validating.
However, unlike a real person in a reciprocal relationship, the AI has no feelings, no awareness, and no emotional investment. It is programmed to provide responses that create the illusion of understanding and closeness. The result is a powerful emotional experience that feels real, but is rooted in simulation.
The psychological challenges that can arise from AI companionship apps are important for parents and caregivers to understand. These platforms are designed to mimic emotional closeness and often do so quite convincingly. However, the connections they create can lead to a false sense of intimacy. Teens may feel deeply "seen" or understood by an AI chatbot that’s programmed to validate their thoughts and feelings, always responding with empathy, interest, or affection. However, unlike a human friend or partner, these responses are not genuine; they are generated by algorithms designed to please. This creates an illusion of connection that may feel emotionally real but lacks any true mutuality.
Over time, this simulated connection can also shape unrealistic expectations about how real-life relationships should function. Because AI companions are programmed to be agreeable, attentive, and conflict-free, teens may begin to expect their human friends or romantic partners to behave the same way, always available, always kind, and never disagreeable. This can lead to frustration or disillusionment when real people inevitably show emotions, boundaries, or flaws.
Another significant concern is the blurring of fantasy and reality. If a teen comes to believe that their AI companion “loves” them or truly understands them on a personal level, it becomes harder to distinguish between what’s emotionally real and what’s artificially generated. The AI may remember previous conversations or use affectionate language, reinforcing the illusion that it shares a reciprocal bond with the teen, when in fact, it does not possess consciousness or authentic emotional capacity.
This emotional dependency can grow into over reliance on the AI for self-worth, comfort, or even decision-making. If a teen begins to turn exclusively to their chatbot for validation, support, or guidance, it can slowly erode their confidence in forming and sustaining relationships with real people. The ease and predictability of the AI may become a crutch, making real interactions feel more difficult or risky by comparison.
As this dependence increases, it may contribute to social withdrawal and emotional isolation. A teen might begin to prioritize time with their AI companion over spending time with friends, participating in extracurriculars, or engaging in face-to-face conversations. This can create a negative feed-back loop where the teen turns even more to the AI for companionship, further reducing opportunities for real human connection and social development.
Perhaps most troubling is the potential for inappropriate content within some AI platforms. Despite age guidelines, certain apps have been found to engage in sexually explicit or manipulative conversations, even with users who identify as youth or teens. These exchanges, while initiated by the AI, can introduce harmful content, exploit vulnerability, and confuse developing understandings of intimacy, consent, and appropriate boundaries.
In all of these ways, AI companionship apps, while intriguing and at times comforting, can carry risks that are not immediately obvious. That’s why it’s so critical for parents and caregivers to approach these tools with awareness, openness, and a willingness to have meaningful, non-judgmental conversations with their teens.
These risks don’t mean that every teen who uses an AI chatbot is in trouble. But they do highlight the need for parent and caregiver involvement and understanding.
Both online reciprocal and parasocial relationships take place in digital spaces, but they are fundamentally different in emotional structure and impact. One involves two real people engaging with authenticity and mutual investment. The other creates a powerful illusion of connection without any true reciprocity.
As parents and caregivers, recognizing the distinction helps us better support our teens. It allows us to ask more informed questions, respond with empathy, and offer guidance that respects their emotional experiences, while also helping them build the critical thinking needed to differentiate between real connection and simulated attention.
So why is this article important for parents and caregivers to understand?
When your teen opens up about an online or AI-based relationship, it’s essential not to minimize or mock what they’re experiencing. Instead of saying, “That’s not a real relationship,” try to lead with curiosity. You might say something like, “It sounds like this person really matters to you, can you tell me more about your connection?” This kind of open-ended question signals that you're willing to listen and understand. When teens feel heard, they’re far more likely to engage in honest conversations and less likely to shut down or hide their online experiences.
Help your teen think critically about the nature of their emotional connections, especially when those connections involve AI. Ask guiding questions like, “How do you think it’s different when someone is programmed to always agree with you versus a real person who has their own feelings and opinions?” This encourages reflection about authenticity, consent, and the mutual exchange that real relationships require. Understanding that AI is designed to affirm rather than challenge can help teens differentiate between emotional support and emotional simulation.
Teens need to understand not just what AI companions are but how they work. Explain that many of these apps are engineered to maximize engagement by mimicking intimacy. They’re not just responding out of concern or interest, they’re collecting data, learning user preferences, and crafting emotionally appealing replies to keep users hooked. By understanding the design behind the experience, teens can begin to recognize that the feelings they’re developing are real, but the source of those feelings is manufactured.
If your teen is heavily relying on an AI chatbot for companionship, it could be a sign that they’re struggling to find meaningful connection in their offline world. Rather than react with alarm, try creating more opportunities for offline interaction, whether that’s encouraging participation in clubs or sports, scheduling family activities, or simply spending more face-to-face time together. The goal isn’t to eliminate online interaction, but to ensure it doesn’t become a substitute for human connection.
If you're concerned or just curious about what your teen is experiencing when it comes to these companionship apps, consider downloading the app yourself and trying it out. Use it as they do. Observe how it responds, what kinds of conversations it initiates, and what emotional cues it mirrors. Walking in your teen’s digital shoes not only builds empathy, but also gives you a clearer understanding of what they’re exposed to. It can strengthen your credibility when you do sit down to have deeper conversations about the emotional or psychological impact of using such apps.
By approaching these conversations with empathy and curiosity, not fear or dismissal, parents and caregivers can help teens navigate the emotional complexities of online and AI-driven relationships with greater clarity and resilience.
Whether your child is connecting with another real teen they’ve never met in person, or an AI chatbot that mimics affection, the emotional experience feels real to them, and that should matter to us parents and caregivers.
When parents and caregivers acknowledge their child’s emotional reality without judgment or alarm, it creates a safe space for guidance. Your goal isn’t to control their feelings, but to help them process those feelings with critical thinking, emotional resilience, and a strong sense of self.
This isn’t just about managing risk or heartbreak, it’s about preparing your child to navigate a onlife world where human connection is being reshaped by screens, simulations, and synthetic relationships. Your understanding could be the bridge that helps them thrive in today’s onlife world when it comes to their relationships.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
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