“My Child Would Never Search for That” Why This New Canadian Research Should Matter To Every Parent & Caregiver
- The White Hatter
- 9 minutes ago
- 5 min read
Caveat: BIG tip of our White Hat to the Canadian Centre for Child Protection and researchers from DIY: Digitally Informed Youth for conducting this research
When most parents and caregivers think about violent or graphic content online, they often assume there are only two possibilities. Either their child intentionally searched for it, or they simply wouldn’t encounter it because they only use mainstream social media platforms. A new Canadian study suggests neither assumption is necessarily true.
Researchers from DIY: Digital Safety, in partnership with the Canadian Centre for Child Protection (C3P), recently surveyed more than 1,000 Canadian youth between the ages of 13 and 18 about their exposure to authentic violent and gore content online (1). The results were both eye opening and concerning. According to the study, 85% of Canadian teens reported seeing real world violence or graphic gore online. Half had watched the video of the assassination of Charlie Kirk, one-third had seen footage of mass or school shootings, and a troubling number reported exposure to videos involving sexual violence or even child sexual abuse material. Before parents panic, however, it is important to understand what we believe this research is really telling us.
One of the most significant findings is that youth and teens generally are not looking for this material. According to this research, only 7% of those surveyed said they intentionally searched for violent or gore related content, and most reported encountering it unexpectedly. Nearly four in ten said it appeared in posts shared by strangers, while another third said it was recommended to them through platform algorithms. In other words, the technology often brought the content to them rather than the other way around. This distinction matters and one reason why we keep emphasizing that we need to legislate the design of these platforms, and the content they deliver, rather than age gating legislation.
Too often, conversations about youth and teens online begin with the assumption that exposure results from poor choices. While intentional searching certainly happens, this study reminds us that many youth and teens become exposed simply because of how today’s recommendation systems work. Social media platforms are designed to maximize engagement. Sometimes that means recommending increasingly emotional, shocking, or sensational content because those posts tend to capture attention. That does not mean the platforms intentionally want children watching graphic violence. However, it does demonstrate that recommendation systems are not perfect and can sometimes place disturbing material directly into a young person’s feed.
The study also reinforces something we have been saying for years here at The White Hatter, “online safety is no longer just about protecting youth and teens from strangers, increasingly, it is about helping them navigate all forms of online content.”
Parents and caregivers often spend significant time talking with their children about online predators, scams, privacy, and cyberbullying. Those conversations remain incredibly important. However, we should also be preparing our youth and teens for the possibility that they may unexpectedly encounter disturbing images or videos that they never wanted to see.
Many of the youth and teens surveyed described feeling upset, disturbed, anxious, or unable to stop thinking about what they had watched. Others reported feeling numb after repeated exposure. While individual reactions differ, there is growing concern among researchers that repeated exposure to authentic violence may affect emotional well being, increase desensitization for some youth and teens, or contribute to fear and anxiety in others.
One finding that stood out to us was where this exposure is occurring. Many parents and caregivers assume that if their child avoids obscure websites, they are relatively protected. Yet the research found that the most common sources of exposure were familiar platforms that millions of Canadian families use every day, including YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. These are not hidden corners of the internet. They are mainstream digital environments where youth and teens socialize, learn, and entertain themselves.
This is why we continue to believe that digital literacy is far more valuable than simply telling youth and teens to “stay off the internet.” Even if a youth or teen avoids one platform, similar content can quickly appear elsewhere. The better long term strategy is helping youth develop the skills to respond when something disturbing unexpectedly appears.
As parents and caregivers, there are several practical things we can do:
Normalize the conversation. Rather than asking, “Have you ever searched for violent videos?” try asking, “Have you ever had something disturbing appear on your feed that you didn’t expect?” That subtle change removes blame and makes it much easier for young people to answer honestly.
Reassure your child that curiosity is normal, but they never have to continue watching something simply because it appeared on their screen. Encourage them to scroll away, close the app, or report the content if appropriate. Sometimes the healthiest response is simply choosing not to engage.
Discuss how recommendation algorithms work. Explain that every click, pause, replay, comment, and share teaches platforms what to recommend next. Youth and teens are often surprised to learn that even watching something out of shock or curiosity can influence future recommendations.
Teach emotional self-awareness. If a youth or teen notices that certain content is making them anxious, frightened, angry, or unable to stop thinking about it, that is valuable information. Rather than pushing those feelings aside, encourage them to talk about what they experienced with a trusted adult.
Avoid responding with immediate punishment if your child tells you they encountered graphic content. If young people fear losing their device every time they disclose something upsetting, they may simply stop telling us. Our first response should be curiosity, support, and conversation.
Perhaps the most encouraging finding in this research is that many youth and teens themselves do not want this material appearing in their feeds. According to the study, there was broad support among youth and teens for stronger content warnings and better platform moderation. This reminds us that young people are not passive consumers of harmful content. Many recognize the problem and want safer online experiences as much as adults do.
At The White Hatter, we have long believed that the goal is not to raise youth and teens who never encounter risk online. In today’s onlife world, that is becoming increasingly unrealistic. Instead, our goal should be to raise youth and teens who know how to recognize risk, respond thoughtfully, seek support when needed, and understand that they are not alone when something online leaves them feeling disturbed.
Technology will continue to evolve, and recommendation systems will continue to improve and sometimes make mistakes. Our greatest opportunity as parents and caregivers is not trying to eliminate every difficult experience, but ensuring that when those experiences happen, our children know they can come to us without fear of judgment, and that conversation may be one of the most effective online safety tools we have.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
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