When a Viral “Wish List” Says More Than a Screen Ever Could About Youth & Teen Mental Health
- The White Hatter
- 22 hours ago
- 3 min read
Recently, a handwritten “wish list” said to be written by a foster child in the United States has been widely shared online. It is emotional, disarming, and hard to ignore. Like many parents, you may have felt a knot in your stomach reading it.
When we tried to trace the original source of this document, the closest verifiable origin we could find was a Facebook post from July 2015 by Dreamcatchers for Abused Children. (1) Beyond that, there is no clear documentation confirming when or by whom it was written. That uncertainty matters, not because the message lacks value, but because viral content often takes on a life of its own once emotion takes the lead.
What stood out to us was not whether the list was authentic in the narrow sense, but how closely its themes align with what decades of research and real-world experience have already shown us.
The list asks for safety, consistency, patience, kindness, and to be believed. It asks for adults who listen, who do not yell, who keep promises, and who make a child feel like they matter.
Those requests mirror what we discussed in our earlier article examining youth mental health data from the CDC. (2) In that piece, we highlighted analysis by Dr. Mike Males, who looked closely at survey responses from more than 3,200 girls aged 12 to 15. What emerged was not a simple story about phones or apps, but a far more complex picture shaped by family instability, stress, trauma, social pressure, and lack of trusted adult support.
Screens did not appear as the root cause. They appeared, at most, as one “confounding” factor among many, with tech often acting as a coping mechanism rather than a trigger.
When conversations focus narrowly on screen time, they often sidestep harder questions. Are kids feeling safe at home? Do they feel heard at school? Are there stable adults in their lives who show up consistently? Are we addressing poverty, family conflict, trauma, bullying, and unrealistic social expectations?
Blaming technology can feel comforting because it offers a simple solution. Take away the device and the problem goes away. Real life does not work that way.
For Darren, this wish list reads as familiar. During 30 years in law enforcement, working closely with youth experiencing emotional, psychological, physical, and social challenges, these themes surfaced again and again. Whether a child was in foster care, living in a chaotic household, or struggling quietly in an outwardly stable environment, the needs were strikingly similar. Many wanted adults to slow down, pay attention, and take them seriously.
Technology did not create those needs, and removing it does not magically fulfill them. Often, technology was used as a coping tool to help mitigate the emotional, psychological, and physical outcomes of such abuse!
If this wish list moved you, that reaction is worth sitting with. Not as a call to panic or to double down on fear based tech rules, but as a reminder of where your influence matters most.
Connection beats control, presence beats prohibition, and conversations beat assumptions.
Yes, technology can complicate childhood, but it is rarely the core cause. When we focus only on screens, we risk missing the quieter, more uncomfortable truths staring back at us from that handwritten page.
Our kids are not asking us to be perfect. They are asking us to be available, consistent, and willing to look beyond the easiest explanation.
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
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