Online Pornography And Hypersexualization
- The White Hatter
- Sep 16, 2022
- 19 min read
Updated: May 20
Online Pornography and Hypersexualization
Caveat
In today’s online world, where the average age of exposure to pornography is around age 9, age-appropriate sex education is a must—and it does not sexualize youth. Instead, it teaches them the difference between right and wrong, the meaning of consent, and how to make informed decisions. A lack of education leaves youth to learn from online pornography and non-pornographic media—such as explicit music lyrics or sexualized content in movies and TV shows—which is a recipe for disaster. It often leads to vulnerability, misinformation, and potential harm, sometimes requiring intervention due to a lack of understanding of appropriate sexual behaviour.
Another critically important reason to provide sex education: the lack of age-appropriate education makes youth more vulnerable to online sexual predation and exploitation.
The Reality of Online Porn Exposure
In today’s “onlife” world, online pornography is easily accessible, and it’s crucial for parents and caregivers to recognize that children are likely to encounter it at some point. This exposure isn’t limited to obscure adult-only websites; it can happen on mainstream platforms, social media sites, and even seemingly innocent content channels. With the ubiquity of smartphones and tablets, explicit content can appear unexpectedly—through ads, pop-ups, or misdirected links—making it nearly impossible to completely shield children from exposure.
Setting the Stage: Interview with Maree Crabbe
To set the stage for this chapter, we reference a recent interview we conducted with Maree Crabbe, a subject matter expert on the emotional, psychological, physical, and social concerns surrounding online pornography and the hypersexualization of youth.
Pornography Then vs. Now
The explicit pornography of today—and the ease of access to it—is not what most adults grew up with. Today’s pornography often includes:
Gagging
Rough anal sex
ATM (Ass To Mouth), also known as “Gonzo Porn”
Spitting and slapping
Severe choking
Rough sex has become mainstream, while what was once considered “vanilla sex” is now often perceived as boring. For youth, exploring rough sex is usually about novelty and experimentation—not necessarily malice—but this exploration can lead to real harm. This underscores the importance of fact-based sex education and open family discussions.
Dr. Debby Herbenick of the Indiana University School of Public Health and a well-known sex researcher, reports that 1 in 3 youth aged 12–17 engage in sexualized choking—a behaviour commonly featured in TikTok videos and popular music. One example: Jack Harlow’s music video “Loving Me” (viewed over 116 million times on YouTube), features the lyric: “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you but I ain’t no killer, baby.”
However, many youth (and even adults) are unaware of the dangers of sexualized choking.Reference: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-022-02347-y
Why This Matters
According to research from the UK’s National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC), 44% of boys who watch pornography reported that it gave them ideas about the types of sex they wanted to try.
In 2018, the University of Calgary found that 1 in 5 youth experienced unwanted online exposure to sexually explicit material. It’s estimated that the average age of first porn exposure falls between 9 and 12 years.
Key Stats and Facts
Average age of exposure: 9–12 years
30% of 16-year-old girls reported using pornography; 39% of that group had attempted to copy sexual acts seen in porn
51% of 16–17-year-olds had been asked to watch porn with a partner
44% had been asked to replicate acts seen in porn
Some forms of adolescent dating victimization have been linked to pornography exposure
Common Sense Media Study (2023)
Source: http://bit.ly/3X2508u
73% of teens have been exposed to porn (accidentally or intentionally)
15% of children under 10 have been exposed to online porn
54% of those under 13, and 73% under 17, have been exposed
31% of teens accessed porn during school hours
44% said they searched it out; 58% said it happened by accident
52% of teen boys and 36% of teen girls accessed porn intentionally
59% said they watch porn once a week
45% believe porn gives them helpful information about sex
Only 1 in 3 teens have seen porn that includes a depiction of consent
Social Media and Porn Access
An additional concerning statistic from the 5Rights Foundation—a not-for-profit group that promotes child safety, security, and privacy online—reveals:
“Almost half (42%) of children aged 5–12 are on social media sites, despite most having a minimum age requirement of 13, and over 80% of pornography sites do not have age checks. This is what tech self-regulation age assurance looks like.” Source: https://bit.ly/3nySqhN
What Drives the Online Pornography Industry?
1. AccessibilityIn the past, teens accessed pornography through a hidden Playboy magazine or an old VCR tape. Today, it’s available online 24/7—often just two clicks away.
2. AffordabilityMost online pornography is free, making it widely accessible regardless of financial means.
3. AnonymityUnlike in the past—when purchasing porn meant facing a clerk at a store—today’s access can be anonymous, free, and instant with little chance of detection.
Why Do Some Teens Actively Seek Out Pornography?
Curiosity: Teens are naturally curious about human sexuality.
Education: In the absence of open family conversations, many turn to porn, mistakenly believing it reflects real-life sexual behaviour.
Sexual Arousal: The physiological response is part of adolescent development.
Peer/Relationship Pressure: Social expectations can drive exploration.
Note: We've heard directly from teens that when it comes to education around healthy human sexuality, the topic of pleasure is often overlooked—both in schools and in conversations at home. Instead, the focus tends to be centred on risks and dangers. Yet, understanding pleasure is something many teens genuinely want to explore in a safe, respectful, and informed way. When parents and educators avoid this part of the conversation, young people are more likely to seek answers elsewhere, often turning to pornography or, more recently, generative AI tools. Unfortunately, these sources can present distorted, unrealistic, or even harmful portrayals of what pleasure should be, setting the stage for confusion and unhealthy sexual expectations.
The Dominance of PornHub
PornHub is the best-known and most frequently mentioned free pornography site among students we present to which they call "The Hub". Anecdotally, during the COVID-19 pandemic, daily visits rose from 120 million to over 134 million. During lockdowns, PornHub even made its premium content free, further increasing accessibility.
Parent Tip: Watch Out for Hentai
While pornography is often delivered through pictures and video, teens are also engaging with pornographic cartoons and anime, known as “Hentai.”Just Google “Hentai” (without children nearby) to see the shock factor firsthand. It’s a genre some teens gravitate toward due to its fantasy element and accessibility.
Maree Crabbe: A Must-Watch Resource
Check out this powerful YouTube video featuring Australian sex educator Maree Crabbe, where she outlines the emotional, psychological, physical, and social challenges associated with online pornography and teens. It’s an excellent resource for both parents and teens to watch together.
More Than Just Porn: Hypersexualized Content in Everyday Media
It’s not just the porn industry that normalizes sexual objectification and harmful gender dynamics. Hypersexualization is rampant in mainstream media:
Streaming platforms (e.g., Netflix) with sexually explicit content like 365 DNI
Video games (e.g., Grand Theft Auto, The Witcher, God of War) featuring animated sex scenes and adult themes
YouTube videos that feature highly sexualized clips from reality shows or movies
Search engines like Google, where an image search for “porn” delivers graphic results instantly
Defining Hypersexualization
We define hypersexualization as:
“Where young people are depicted or treated as sexual objects through media, marketing, or products directed at them, encouraging them to act in adult sexual ways.”
Examples provided by the Canadian Women’s Health Network include:
Thongs marketed to six-year-old girls
Ads of young girls in provocative poses
Children mimicking adult-themed dance routines and lyrics from pop music
Hypersexualization is also evident on social media (like TikTok), in mall retail stores, in modern dance schools, and in music videos.
Case Study: TikTok Porn Juxtaposition
TikTok, originally launched as Musical.ly and later acquired by Chinese company ByteDance, is now one of the most downloaded teen apps worldwide.
Despite its 13+ age requirement, there’s no robust age verification, and many underage users access the platform. TikTok’s features—including “Duet,” which allows users to post videos side-by-side—have unfortunately been misused in disturbing ways.
We were alerted by a teen follower about an underground movement called “TikTok Porn Groups.” These exist in forums like subreddits and involve:
Downloading hypersexualized TikToks of young people
Juxtaposing those with faceless videos of someone masturbating
Sharing the combined content in hidden online spaces (not TikTok itself)
We confirmed these videos exist. In many cases, the youth being sexualized were completely unaware their innocent videos had been stolen and used in this disturbing way—creating non-consensual, pornified material that could later fuel sextortion or further objectification.
The Path to Monetization
Some teen users, after gaining followers on TikTok through hypersexualized dance content, transition to monetized adult platforms like OnlyFans or private Snapchats when they turn 18.
Example: One teen built a large audience through TikTok and, after turning 18, created an OnlyFans account where they performed the same dances—naked. Reports suggest this teen made over $90,000/month through adult subscriptions.
Parent Tip: Our Recommendation on TikTok
We do not recommend TikTok for youth under 16 years of age, even though the platform allows accounts starting at 13. In addition, we advise against posting any hypersexualized content for the reasons outlined above.
The Consequences of Pornography and Hypersexualization
So, what are some of the consequences?
They create a false understanding of what healthy human sexuality actually looks like.
They often objectify women, and sometimes men, reducing individuals to commodities for sexual gratification.
They promote harmful messages surrounding gender, power imbalance, sexual aggression, and incest—and normalize painful or degrading sexual behaviours.
They can lead to problematic pornography use, with emotional, psychological, physical, and social consequences. In our presentations, we’ve met nine teens under the age of 18 currently in treatment for problematic porn use.
According to Dr. Carolyn West (Ph.D.) from the University of Washington, pornography often perpetuates racism, particularly against people of color:
It's filled with racial stereotypes.
It’s one of the most racist forms of media specific to African Americans and other racialized groups.
It disproportionately depicts women of color as targets of sexual aggression.
It more often portrays men of color as perpetrators of violence.
Recommended Viewing:The 2021 documentary Raised On Porn (Magic Lantern Pictures) is available for free on YouTube. It’s a resource we strongly recommend for parents—and even to watch together with teens—for its contextual and compassionate exploration of this issue.
Further Resource:Visit Culture Reframed, a trusted organization providing education on pornography’s impact. Darren has personally completed their free online parent training and found it to be an excellent support tool for fostering open conversations with youth.
Porn Can Lead to Sexualized Bullying
We are now seeing a rise in sexualized bullying, which includes behaviours such as:
Sexualized jokes
Gestures and name-calling
Graffiti and inappropriate drawings
Unwanted touching
Gossip
Sextortion (blackmail involving sexual images or content)
This behaviour is showing up as early as elementary school—a concern shared with us anecdotally by many educators across North America.
Why is this happening?
Our opinion, media’s normalization of hypersexuality and pornographic behaviour is shaping how youth interpret interpersonal interactions. These harmful portrayals blur the lines between teasing and harassment. Over time, dismissive cultural attitudes—like "boys will be boys" or "it’s just a joke"—can evolve into a dangerous tolerance for sexual harassment and coercion.
We’ve heard this directly from teen girls in our sessions. When youth believe porn reflects normal sexual behaviour, it informs their expectations in real life—often in harmful, aggressive, or degrading ways.
Creating a Safer, More Respectful Culture Starts at Home
Recognizing how pornography influences youth helps us challenge the misguided perceptions of what’s acceptable in a relationship.
Teens might not report sexual harassment or violence because:
They don’t recognize the behaviour as harmful.
They’ve seen similar behaviour normalized in porn or media.
They assume their discomfort is “overreacting.”
That’s why open, honest, and age-appropriate conversations are essential.
Parent Tip: Teach Consent
When we hear the word “consent,” we often think about physical intimacy. But consent is relevant in all types of interactions, from sharing photos to touching someone’s belongings. At its core, consent is about respect—for another person’s autonomy, boundaries, and choices.
Understanding Informed Consent
Informed consent means:
Both people agree freely, without pressure.
Both people understand what they’re agreeing to.
Both people are able to say yes or no without fear or guilt.
Consent must be:
Ongoing
Specific
Enthusiastic
Informed
Reversible
Planned Parenthood’s “FRIES” Model for Consent:
Freely Given – No pressure, no manipulation, no intoxication.
Reversible – Anyone can change their mind at any time.
Informed – Full understanding of the situation.
Enthusiastic – You want to do it—not because you feel obligated.
Specific – Saying “yes” to one thing doesn’t mean “yes” to everything.
We recommend all parents share this acronym with their children and use it to guide ongoing discussions.
Consent Cannot Be Given When:
The person is unconscious or asleep.
The person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
There’s a power imbalance (e.g., an authority figure or adult coercing a minor).
The person is being pressured, guilted, or threatened.
Teach Teens to Recognize Red Flags:
“Come on, I’ve been waiting all day.”
“If you loved me, you’d do this.”
“I took you out—you owe me.”
Negative reactions when your teen says “no.”
Ignoring non-verbal cues like pulling away or saying “stop.”
Key Message for Teens: “NO” Is a Complete Sentence
If someone isn’t respecting boundaries or consent, your teen has the right to say stop and walk away. If they feel unsafe, they should be taught to say:
“If you continue, this is rape.”
That phrase often shocks the person into realizing the seriousness of the situation.
Video Resource
Watch our FREE White Hatter video for teens, parents, and educators on the legalities of informed consent in Canada.
However, Consent Isn’t Just About “Yes” or “No” Anymore
When we talk about consent, the default conversation still often revolves around a simple legal binary: Did they say yes or no? While this legal framing is important for upholding accountability, it barely scratches the surface of what consent actually looks and feels like for youth, especially in today's “onlife” world, where physical, emotional, and digital boundaries constantly overlap.
Today’s teens are not just navigating in-person relationships, they are developing, expressing, and negotiating boundaries through screens, apps, texts, emojis, and social media platforms. In this complex ecosystem, conversations about consent are being challenged, and redefined, not just by peers, but by cultural narratives, platform algorithms, online pornography, influencers, and persistent power dynamics tied to gender, race, identity, and visibility.
For teens growing up online, consent is no longer a one-time checkpoint, it’s a conversation. It’s about context, clarity, and comfort, not just compliance.
For many teens today, the idea that consent is a one-time event, a simple “yes” that applies indefinitely, is being actively challenges though education. Whether they're sexting, exploring romantic relationships, or even just sharing casual selfies with friends, young people are increasingly aware that consent must be revisited, reaffirmed, and respected throughout an interaction be it online or offline. Just because someone said “yes” to sharing a photo or engaging in a certain kind of communication once, does not mean that permission extends indefinitely. Digital consent, like in-person consent, can be revoked at any time, and teens are being taught that respecting boundaries means listening when someone changes their mind. This shift in education represents a deeper understanding of autonomy and agency, even in the fast-moving pace of digital interactions.
In the onlife world, consent is not just limited to physical intimacy or explicit content, it also extends to the ways teens engage with each other’s digital identities. Teens today are grappling with complex, often unspoken questions such as, “Is it okay to repost a friend’s photo if they didn’t explicitly say no?’ or “Does liking a swimsuit picture imply something romantic or sexual?” or “What about saving or forwarding images shared privately that aren’t intimate in nature?” These aren't just abstract or philosophical dilemmas, they’re practical, everyday decisions that shape how teens understand boundaries and respect. Digital behaviour such as liking, commenting, sharing, screenshotting, and reposting can all carry implications for how consent is interpreted and honoured. In this environment, even small interactions can feel loaded with meaning, and many youth are trying to navigate that space with growing intentionality and care.
More than ever, teens are being called upon to develop emotional literacy, an ability to understand, express, and navigate emotions, particularly when it comes to interpreting and communicating consent. In a world where miscommunications can quickly spiral, go viral, or result in real-life harm, many young people are learning to ask questions like, “Are you comfortable with this?” or “Can we talk about how this feels before we go further?”
These aren’t easy conversations, especially when the dominant culture often fails to model healthy, open communication. Yet, we are seeing more teens who recognize that consent isn’t just a checkbox, it needs to be a conversation. Many are showing remarkable insight in how they negotiate consent, often far beyond what adults assume they're capable of. Their ability to reflect on boundaries, read emotional cues, and adapt in real time highlights a level of emotional intelligence that deserves to be acknowledged, supported, and celebrated.
In their reality, the onlife world is a power structure, and teens know and understand this reality.
Whether it’s a request for nudes framed as “proof of love,” or the subtle pressure to look, act, or flirt a certain way to gain social capital, today’s teens are operating in an environment where consent is often shaped by who has the power in a conversation, not just what is being said.
In today’s digital world, teens, especially girls and LGBTQ+ youth, are immersed in an online culture saturated with curated hyper-sexuality. Influencers across platforms often promote hyper-polished, provocative images that suggest sexual visibility equals empowerment, desirability, and success. For some teens, participating in this culture through sexting, suggestive photos, or flirty content can feel like a form of agency, an act of control over how they present themselves and engage with others. However, that sense of empowerment is not universal. Many teens feel trapped by unspoken social expectations or the fear of missing out (FOMO) if they don’t participate. They may worry about being seen as prudish, irrelevant, or invisible if they opt out of this performance-based digital economy. This creates a paradox, meaning that what may appear to adults as voluntary behaviour may, in fact, be driven by subtle social coercion. When young people feel they must perform a certain kind of sexuality to belong or be accepted, true consent becomes compromised.
Social media algorithms are not neutral. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Snapchat are designed to reward content that is visually striking, emotionally charged, and often, sexually suggestive. These systems automatically push provocative, polished, and performance-driven content to the top of feeds, reinforcing a narrow standard of what gains attention and approval. As a result, teens quickly learn that flirtatious posts or revealing photos get more likes, more shares, and more social validation. This dynamic subtly encourages young users to shape their digital identity around what the algorithm favours, not necessarily what aligns with their personal values or comfort. Over time, this can lead to what might be called “algorithmic coercion”, a powerful form of pressure where teens begin to equate their self-worth with their ability to be seen, liked, or validated online through increasingly sexualized content. It’s not about informed, enthusiastic consent; it’s about being nudged, shaped, and incentivized by a system built to monetize attention.
Despite ongoing cultural progress, traditional gender roles continue to cast a long shadow over how teens interpret and navigate sexual communication, especially online. Boys are still often socialized to be initiators and pursuers, expected to take charge, be assertive, and "make the first move." Meanwhile, girls are commonly positioned as “gatekeepers of consent”, burdened with the responsibility to manage boundaries, decode mixed signals, and deflect unwanted attention, sometimes at the cost of their own comfort.
In digital spaces, where tone is difficult to read and non-verbal cues are missing, these gendered expectations can lead to confusion, miscommunication, and unhealthy power dynamics. For example, a boy may interpret silence or hesitation as consent, while a girl may feel pressured to go along with something just to avoid conflict or social fallout. When consent is framed through outdated scripts of masculine pursuit and feminine restraint, the result is often a dynamic where mutual respect, clear communication, and authentic choice are undermined—especially in the ambiguous world of online interactions.
Despite these challenges, many teens are actively working and adapting to build healthier understandings of consent, ones that are more inclusive, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent than those of past generations. They’re learning to:
Use clear language and set digital boundaries (e.g., “Please don’t screenshot,” “Ask before reposting that”).
Using the tech itself. As an example send a picture of a blank wall or ceiling often mean “not interested”
Normalize check-ins before and during intimate interactions, both online and offline.
Push back against peer pressure, performative sexuality, and algorithmic norms.
Recognize and call out toxic or manipulative behaviours masked as love or flirtation.
Question rigid gender expectations that limit emotional expression or vulnerability.
Rather than portraying them as passive recipients of harm, it’s time we recognize many teens as active agents of change, often doing the hard work of renegotiating consent culture in today’s onlife world where adults have fallen short.
Consent today is about more than permission—it’s about power, presence, and participation. Teens aren’t confused—they’re confronting a cultural landscape that often fails to support their rights to bodily autonomy and digital dignity. They’re building a new framework, one post, one conversation, one peer interaction at a time.
Let’s meet them there, not with fear, shame, or outdated scripts, but with curiosity, compassion, and the willingness to grow alongside them.
Some question we suggest to have with your youth or teen about consent to spark the discussion:
Do you feel comfortable saying no in digital conversations?
What does respectful flirting look like online?
Has anyone ever shared something about you without permission?
How do you decide whether or not to send a photo or message?
What would you do if someone crossed your boundary digitally?
The Porn Industry’s Investment in AI: The New Frontier
Parents and caregivers must understand that the pornography industry's significant investment in AI (Artificial Intelligence) is a calculated move to maximize profits. However, this shift introduces severe consequences, especially for young users.
The Dark Side
AI-generated content is tailored to users’ preferences, creating false intimacy and hyperrealistic sexual experiences. This leads to:
Desensitization: Overexposure can normalize extreme content, pushing users toward increasingly harmful material.
Unrealistic expectations: AI pornography distorts ideas of relationships, body image, and sexual behavior.
Objectification: AI often reinforces harmful stereotypes and depictions, contributing to a culture of exploitation.
AI Companions Aren’t Real Relationships
AI "companions" simulate relationships but manipulate users' emotions for engagement and profit. This can result in:
Loneliness and isolation: Users may feel more disconnected from real relationships.
Distorted perceptions: These simulations prioritize instant gratification over healthy emotional connections.
For further insight:We wrote an in-depth article on sexualized AI companionship apps—a must-read for parents, caregivers, and educators.
The Need for Awareness and Action
We must be proactive:
Educate users: Help youth understand the risks of AI-generated porn and deepfake content.
Promote healthy relationships: Emphasize human connection and emotional safety over fantasy.
Support regulation: Advocate for ethical use of AI in digital media and restrict its use in exploitative industries.
So, What Is a Parent to Do?
Adolescents are becoming more sexually curious. They are high interest, low experience learners—and often turn to media to fill that gap.
Let’s name the elephant in the room:
“Adolescents = Becoming Sexual Beings”
This reality means parents must step up and talk about the difference between healthy human sexuality, pornography, and hypersexualization. If we don’t, we leave it to the porn industry to do it for us.
We’re not just talking about “the birds and the bees.” We’re talking about what Dr. Jillian Roberts calls “The Other Talk”—one that includes conversations about porn, exploitation, and pleasure, consent, and arousal, framed in a fact-based, age-appropriate way.
As Maree Crabbe said in the video we referenced earlier:
“Most teens have told me that when it comes to sex education, what they get is too little, too late, and too biological.”
When Should I Start Talking to My Kids About This?
Answer: As soon as they have access to the internet.
That’s often a jaw-dropper for many parents. But it’s the truth.
Parent Resource: Dr. Jillian Roberts’ Book
We strongly recommend “Kids, Sex & Screens: Raising Strong, Resilient Children in the Sexualized Digital Age” by child psychologist Dr. Jillian Roberts.
Dr. Roberts provides a blueprint for having age-appropriate conversations that grow with your child’s maturity.
“Show us a child from a family that doesn’t talk openly and honestly about these issues, and we’ll show you the next target of the porn and hypersexualized media industry.”—The White Hatter
Parental Control and Filtering Tools
Let’s talk practical solutions. For families using iPhones and iPads, here’s how to set up parental controls:
Go to Settings
Scroll down and tap Screen Time
Tap Content & Privacy Restrictions
Turn it ON (green), and set a 4-digit passcode (don’t share it with your child)
Tap Content Restrictions
Tap Web Content
Choose Limit Adult Websites
Use the Add Website option to block URLs (e.g., PornHub, Omegle, TikTok)
This not only restricts access but also prevents Safari history from being deleted.
What About Android Devices?
Android doesn’t make filtering as easy. However, this step-by-step guide from WikiHow is helpful:🔗 https://www.wikihow.com/Block-Porn-on-Android
Note: The "Spin" browser mentioned there is also compatible with Apple devices.
Google SafeSearch
Google SafeSearch can block explicit content in search results.
How to turn it on:
On a computer:
Enable Filter or Blur under SafeSearch
On an iPhone/iPad browser:
Turn on Hide explicit results
On the Google App:
Tap the three-dot menu
Go to Settings > General > Search Settings
Toggle SafeSearch ON
On Android:
Open Google
Tap Settings > General > SafeSearch
Turn it ON
Parent Tip
No filter is 100% effective. This is why open, honest, and ongoing conversations about pornography and sexuality are critical.
Top 10 Parenting Recommendations
Start early. Age-appropriate education builds resilience before exposure happens.
Create a judgment-free space so your child feels safe coming to you.
Educate yourself before talking to your child.
Use real-life examples to illustrate your points—not fear-based lectures.
Teach your child to view porn critically, not as a model for real-life sex.
Use the moment to talk about boundaries, consent, and communication.
Clearly express your family’s values around healthy sexuality and media use.
Provide reputable online resources your child can explore independently.
Use monitoring software, but recognize that privacy and trust evolve with age.
Keep the dialogue going. This isn’t a one-and-done talk.
Final Thoughts: Creating a Culture of Trust, Respect, and Knowledge
The ultimate goal of this chapter is not to instill fear, but to empower. As parents, caregivers, and educators, we have a responsibility to confront uncomfortable truths—not to shame, but to protect, prepare, and guide our youth with courage and clarity.
Pornography and hypersexualization are not fringe issues. They are mainstream, deeply embedded in the digital spaces our children inhabit. The influence they exert on sexual development, emotional resilience, body image, consent, and relationships is profound. And yet, silence is still far too common.
It’s time to break that silence.
A Word to Parents: This Is Your Moment
Talking to your children about pornography and hypersexualization isn’t about giving permission. It’s about giving perspective.
If you don’t talk to your child about healthy sexual behaviour, someone—or something—else will.
If you don’t teach your child about consent, someone may teach them through harm or coercion.
If you avoid conversations because they feel uncomfortable, you’re leaving your child unprepared in a world that’s anything but comfortable.
This isn’t a one-time talk. It’s an evolving dialogue that needs to grow with your child as they grow—emotionally, psychologically, and physically.
Remember This Key Message:
“Pornography’s influence has serious implications for young people’s capacity to develop a sexuality that is safe, respectful, mutual, and consenting.”—Maree Crabbe
The White Hatter’s Core Recommendations to Parents:
Start early, especially once your child has internet access.
Frame the conversation with facts, not fear.
Focus on empowerment, not shame.
Differentiate between healthy human sexuality, pornography, and hypersexualization.
Teach consent as an everyday practice, not just something tied to intimacy.
Set boundaries with devices—especially in bedrooms—and model healthy tech habits yourself.
Use filtering tools, but understand that conversations and trust are far more effective than any app.
Stay engaged in the evolving digital culture, including AI, apps, and new forms of content.
Create a safe environment where your child knows they can come to you—without fear of judgment or punishment.
Let’s Be Real: Porn Is Not Going Away
The industry is constantly evolving, and now it's incorporating AI, deepfakes, and hyper-personalized experiences. The question isn't how to eliminate it from your child's world—it's how to inoculate them against its harmful effects.
By arming your child with knowledge, critical thinking, emotional resilience, and a safe place to talk, you give them the tools they need to navigate today’s onlife world with confidence.
One Final Thought
If you ever feel unsure or overwhelmed, remember you’re not alone. Reach out. Read. Learn. Talk to others. Use trusted resources like:
The White Hatter
Culture Reframed – https://www.culturereframed.org
Dr. Jillian Roberts’ book – Kids, Sex & Screens – https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/book-list
Common Sense Media – https://www.commonsensemedia.org
Planned Parenthood’s Consent Fries – a practical, memorable framework
Together, We Can Make a Difference
By confronting these challenges head-on, without shame, fear, or avoidance, we build a stronger, more informed generation—one that can celebrate sexuality while rejecting exploitation.
Let’s work together to make that happen.
