Is My Child Ready For A Cellphone?

 

 

 

As social media safety experts, advocates, and coaches who present to thousands of parents throughout Canada and the United States, one question we are regularly asked is:

 

“What age do you think a child should be gifted a cellphone?”

 

This is especially common during the Christmas season, birthdays, or back-to-school times when youth are hoping to receive a phone as a gift.

 

We believe this question—although well-meaning—misses the mark. It’s not about age, but rather a child’s social and emotional maturity and impulse control—the ability to own and operate a phone without direct parental supervision. If the answer is "no," then it doesn’t matter if the child is 6 or 16—they’re not ready. This is especially true if they struggle with conflict, lack impulse control, or have difficulty respecting boundaries.

 

As child safety advocate Dr. Devorah Heitner notes:

 

“A birthday milestone, or some far-off date in the future will not ensure your child’s readiness for the responsibility that comes with having the entire world a swipe away. Instead, consider independence milestones—ways for your child to demonstrate readiness."

 

Some examples of these milestones include:

 

• Making lunch without help

 

• Walking home from school alone

 

• Spending brief periods at home alone

 

• Babysitting a younger child

 

• Using public transit independently

 

• Staying organized with homework

 

If your child is already demonstrating many of these, they might be ready—or close. If not, you can set progressive goals for them to work toward.

 

Parenting Tip

 

As pediatrician Dr. Natasha Burgert suggests:

 

“Rather than thinking of a specific age as the benchmark, reframe the decision with the developmental readiness of your child in mind.”

 

Developmental signs of readiness may include:

 

• Improved reasoning and complex thinking

 

• Understanding tone, sarcasm, and idioms

 

• Developing their own solutions to problems

 

• Planning ahead

 

• Demonstrating empathy

 

• A stronger sense of right and wrong

 

• Social responsibility and peer awareness

 

• Respecting boundaries

 

• Effective communication

 

If your child is showing these, or if digital connection is necessary due to family circumstances, it might be time.

 

Remember in Canada, and many other countries, to purchase a cellphone data plan you need to be at least 18 years of age unless a parent or adult signs a cell provider’s Terms of Service (contract). Parents, by signing the Term of Service for your child, you legally own the phone; not your child. Again, cell phones are not a right to have, they are a privilege to have when it comes to children, tweens, and teens. When we gift our kids a cellphone, it needs to be made clear that we legally own the phone and are just lending it to them with conditions attached. It is important that parents remove the sense of entitlement that many youths have specific to a gifted cellphone, or other digital devices they may receive.

 

We have personally seen children in grade one with smartphones, which is ridiculous in our opinion except in exigent circumstances such as a medical necessity (diabetes type 1).

 

According to the marketing agency “Influence Central”, the average age of youth owning their first cell phone in Canada is 10 years. According to the Canadian digital literacy group MediaSmarts, 57% of youth age 9-11 own a smartphone, 81% of youth aged 12-13 own a smartphone, and 93% of youth aged 14-17 own a smartphone.

 

It has been our experience that a child’s first cell phone is often not a new device, but rather a hand-me-down phone from a parent who has upgraded to a new smartphone. We also believe it is important for parents and caregivers to know that our kids aren’t just using their phones as phones; here’s a breakdown of what our kids are doing with their phones:

 

Texting 88%, Instant messaging 79%, Accessing Social Media 72%, Emailing 64%, Video Chatting 59%, Video Gaming 52%, Messaging Apps 42% 

 

One concern voiced by some parents about cellphones and their children - phones are having a negative effect on their child's enjoyment of the great outdoors.

 

In a 2021 research paper "Left to Their Own Devices? A Mixed Methods Study Exploring the Impacts of Smartphone Use on Children's Outdoor Experiences" https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/18/6/3115  the researchers found:

 

"The results suggest that children are highly dependent on having their smartphones available as an integrated part of their lives. However, smartphones also create favorable conditions for rich and valuable outdoor lives by expanding children’s and parents’ sense of security, children’s outdoor sociality, and children’s opportunities to mold their outdoor experiences. We stress that children’s passion for the digital world needs to be reconsidered as not ‘all bad’, but more as a condition in modern children’s lives and an asset to embrace in future strategies for actively engaging children in outdoor activities."

 

However, of note, online child researcher Dr Sonya Livingstone provides this cautionary note about cellphones:

 

"Phones can become coercive… they pressure kids to feel that there’s a place where the popular people are, and they’re struggling to be included.”

 

The above-noted quote from Dr Livingstone is important to acknowledge. Some of the most current research that we mentioned at the beginning of this web book suggests that at certain development stages (11 to 13 for girls and 14 to 15 for boys), developmental changes could make "some" children more sensitive to the less than desirable sides of social media, which can have an influence on how youth will feel and act - especially when it comes to peer status and social relationships. 

 

In a recent 2022 study http://bit.ly/3F5r4rp a group of 250 children were monitored for five years by researchers from Stanford Medicine during a period where they eventually obtained their first cell phone. The study aimed to track the participants' well-being as they transitioned to phone ownership, rather than comparing phone-using kids with those who do not have phones at a single point in time.

 

The subjects ranged in age from 7 to 11 years old at the beginning of the study, and 11 to 15 years old at the end, with an average age of 11.6 years old for obtaining their first cell phone. However, 25% of the children had phones before 11 years old, and 25% did not have phones until 12.6 years old. The study found no significant links between the timing of obtaining a cell phone and negative outcomes.

 

Lead author Xiaoran Sun stated,

 

"We found that whether or not the children in the study had a mobile phone, and when they had their first mobile phone, did not seem to have meaningful links to their well-being and adjustment outcomes."

 

The researchers noted that individual children may still be negatively impacted by phone ownership, but these results should empower parents to make decisions based on what they feel is best for their family. Senior author Thomas Robinson added, "These results should be seen as empowering parents to do what they think is right for their family."

 

When you as the parent decide that your child is ready for a phone, it is very important that you put in place clear expectations as to how the phone will be used both inside and outside of the home. This also includes understanding your child’s school policy about using a phone during school hours.

 

To help, we have created something we call the “Family Collective Agreement”https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-power-of-a-social-media-and-technology-family-collective-agreement/ This should be printed and placed in a card that accompanies the gifted phone. 

 

One of the prime directives in the Collective Agreement – the phone will not be used privately in a bedroom or bathroom. Setting usage goalposts early is extremely important, our Family Collective Agreement is a good way to start talking about digital expectations, and the goalposts with a  gifted phone.

 

When first learning how to ride a bike, do we buy our children the best and most expensive bike on the market? NO – we purchase a cheap bike with training wheels. Why, because we expect that during the learning process, they are going to drop the bike and have some minor accidents along the way, resulting in the bike becoming scraped and banged up - the same analogy applies to a cellphone. However, cellphone providers purposely make this a challenge by offering the newest iPhone or Android phone for free.  The catch, you need to sign up for a very expensive two-year contract.  This is not something we recommend parents do for a child’s first phone, especially for those under the age of 16yrs.

 

When we ask parents why they would want their grade 3, 4, or 5 children to own a cellphone, the number one answer we hear is,

 

“in an Emergency, they can call me or I can immediately call them.”

 

Often giving a child a cellphone is more about a parent’s convenience in being able to connect and keep tabs on their child 24/7. The narrative that youth are badgering their parent for their first cellphone is not necessarily factually correct - youth are getting their first cellphone because parents want to keep in touch with them https://pewrsr.ch/3WoL6oB 

 

However, with this tech convenience comes vulnerability that “may” place your child at risk if they are not ready to have a cellphone.  If this is the main reason, then don’t buy them a smartphone, buy them a basic cell phone that can call, text, and take/send pictures. We will speak to phone options later in this chapter. 

 

Another option to consider, rather than a cellphone or smartphone - how about a smartwatch, like the "Garmin Bounce" that is specifically designed for youth and allows a parent a variety of ways to stay connected with their child, but does not allow full internet access.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWkyTBES6ek

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/banning-digital-watches-in-schools-why-the-debate-needs-more-nuance/

 

As your child starts to show good judgment, and consistent social and emotional maturity with their basic cellphone, you can now upgrade them to a basic smartphone. In other words, the digital training wheels that a basic cellphone provides, can now be removed.

 

We always recommend a basic Android as their first smartphone over an iPhone because of their price – Android phones are usually much cheaper and have a greater ability to place third-party parental monitoring apps on the phone, which the iPhone does not allow (something we will speak to later in this article). Once your child does show you good judgment, consistent social and emotional maturity, and good digital literacy, then they are ready to move into a higher-end Android smartphone or iPhone.

 

Parents need to understand that much like a laptop or desktop computer, smartphones are the keys to the digital highway, that allow your child to have access to the Internet, both the good and the bad. Given this fact, we also believe that we should provide our kids with digital seat belts, or what I like to call parental monitoring/filtering software solutions.

 

Our kids have no right to privacy from us as parents!  Having said this, our kids can earn their right to privacy by showing us parents good consistent digital citizenship over time.

 

Once our kids can do this, then we recommend that monitoring software be removed because your child has earned that right. We also recommend that parents DO NOT use monitoring/filtering software covertly or in isolation.

 

If a parent is going to install monitoring/filtering software, let the child know. Also, explain to the child that they can earn the right to have this software removed but you also have the right to place it back on their phone if they breach any clause in the Family Collective Agreement.  Both the Android and iPhone also have their own native parental controls that should be turned on as well.

 

• iPhone: https://apple.co/3NviSD0 and  https://bit.ly/2IV2FLz

 

• Android: https://bit.ly/3Pyfqto and  https://bit.ly/35RO50s

 

Remember, hardware and software are not replacements for good parenting. It is all about parental participation, education, and supervision of our kids, combined with hardware and software solutions where appropriate and reasonable to do so. We need to be our child’s best parent and not their best friend when it comes to keeping our kids emotionally, psychologically, and physically safer, especially at younger ages, in how they are accessing the digital world until such time as they are mature enough to go it alone.

 

Parenting Note:

 

A phone is a tool, and like any other tool requires training on how to use it effectively and responsibly. Just giving your child a phone without education and training on how to use it is not recommended. Encourage your child to practice with you how to make personal and emergency calls, and how to send a text. Texting with friends is another significant aspect of digital communication among youth. Discuss the importance of respectful discourse within group texts and how to handle toxic situations should they arise. Empower your child to manage conflicts and navigate digital etiquette gracefully.

 

 

Minimalist Phones Vs Fusion Phones:

 

In the fast-paced world of technology, mobile phones have become ubiquitous and an integral part of our daily lives. The term "smartphone" has gained immense popularity and recognition, signifying modern mobile phones with advanced capabilities. However, we here at the White Hatter propose a shift in terminology to better reflect the diverse functionalities of today's cellphones. In our presentations with parents and caregivers, we have introduced the concept of “Fusion Phones” and “Minimalist Phones”, each catering to different family preferences and needs.

 

The Birth of the Smartphone:

 

The word "smartphone" entered the human vernacular in 1997 when Ericsson coined the term to describe a prototype phone they had developed. This innovative device allowed users to make calls and play games, marking the early stages of enhanced mobile phone capabilities. Over time, smartphones have evolved to encompass a wide range of features such as internet access, email, texting, multimedia functions, and the ability to download interactive applications.

 

Debunking the "Smartphone" Label:

 

While the term "smartphone" has become widely accepted, it is important to recognize that a phone itself is merely a tool, lacking inherent intelligence. A phone can be neither smart nor dumb; it is the functionalities and applications it offers that determine its level of sophistication. At the White Hatter, we believe that using alternative labels to describe today’s phones can provide a better understanding of the capabilities of modern mobile devices. This holds particularly true for parents and caregivers who are contemplating the purchase of their child's first phone

 

Fusion Phones:

 

To better describe the diverse range of capabilities in today's cellphones, we propose the term "fusion phone" over “smartphone”. These devices seamlessly fuse various features, including calls, email, texting, internet access, gaming, and the ability to download interactive apps. Popular examples of Fusion Phones are the Apple iPhone and Android phones, which provide users with a comprehensive suite of functionalities.

 

Minimalist Phones:

 

In contrast to fusion phones, minimalist phones offer a streamlined approach to mobile communication. These devices prioritize essential functions such as calls, email, and texting while deliberately excluding internet access.

 

Four examples of minimalist phones that we recommend are the Ghost Phone Plus, the WisePhone, the Sunbeam Orchid phone, and the PinWheel Phone. By restricting internet access, minimalist phones promote digital well-being, reduce distractions, and encourage face-to-face interactions. We advocate for the adoption of minimalist phones as the best first phones for youth, and here are four that we have tested, recommend, and have done reviews on:

 

Sunbeam Orchid Phone: (great first phone for elementary school K- 7 aged youth) - also able to be ordered with a Canadian credit card and shipped to Canada

 

***UPDATE March 2024****

 

Sunbeam has changed phone manufacturers and is now using a Horizon platform which is almost identical to the Sunbeam Orchid – but allows more functionality that users were looking for.

 

After looking at all the models of this new phone, we would recommend the following two phones for preteens and younger teens – the F1 “Dove” ($249.00 US)
https://sunbeamwireless.com/product/f1-horizon-dove-feature-flip-phone-with-waze/ or the more rugged version the F1 Pro “Hickory” ($329.00 US) https://sunbeamwireless.com/product/sunbeam-f1-pro-hickory-rugged-dumbphone-with-waze/ 

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/review-of-the-sunbeam-orchid-phone-a-first-flip-phone-for-pre-teens-younger-teens/

 

Ghost Phone Plus (great first phone for gr 8-12 ages students) - 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/product-review-ghost-phone-plus-an-option-as-a-teens-first-phone/

 

The Wisephone (great first phone for middle school gr 6-12 aged youth)

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/wisephone-review/

 

The PinWheel Phone. (As of June 2024, also able to be ordered with a Canadian credit card and shipped to Canada

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/pinwheel-phone-for-young-teens-review

 

Presently the only minimalist phones that can be purchased using a Canadian credit card and shipped to Canada directly from the manufacturer are the Sunbeam Orchid phone and the PinWheel Phone. However, if you have a friend or family member who lives in the USA, you can have them purchase and ship the Wisephone or Ghost phone to their address, and then have them re-ship it to you as a “gift” from the USA.

 

We have also had a couple of families share with us that they have used a “parcel forwarding service” to get phones that companies don’t ship directly into Canada, delivered to Canadian Addresses for a nominal fee (usually under  $100). Two companies that have been mentioned to us are:

 

https://www.shipito.com/en/

 

https://myusaddress.ca

 

We have never used these companies ourselves, other parents have, so we can’t vouch for their reliability, however, this might be an option for your consideration if you don’t know someone personally in the US who can ship the phone to you.  One other factor to consider – you may not be able to return the phone to the company if you don’t like it using this process.

 

NOTE:

 

Although the Ghost Phone Plus, WisePhone, the Sunbeam Orchid phone, and the PinWheel cannot provide a guarantee regarding their phone's compatibility within Canada, we conducted tests on the Canadian Rogers Cell Network and found that all four phones functioned flawlessly without encountering any issues.

 

Again, the pivotal question isn't merely "When is my child ready for their first cellphone?" Instead, consider "When is your child ready for the right cellphone?" As mentioned earlier, emotions, psychology, physical development, and social interactions play a crucial role in this decision. Today's children are already stepping into the onlife world through various forms of technology, even before owning their first cellphone. Therefore, finding the right balance and preparing them for responsible cellphone use is key.

 

Yes - it is crucial to recognize that a fusion phone may be a more suitable option than a minimalist phone in certain situations. For instance, when considering a child with Type 1 diabetes who requires a phone for health-related purposes, or for youth with developmental or physical disabilities who can benefit from using apps to effectively cope with their specific emotional, psychological, or physical challenge.

 

Benefits of Minimalist Phones:

 

There are several compelling reasons why parents and caregivers should consider a minimalist phone as the primary phone for young users:

 

#1 They help to create a balanced relationship with technology by limiting access to potentially problematic online platforms that are not age-appropriate.

 

#2 They offer increased privacy and security. With limited internet connectivity, the risks associated with online privacy breaches and exposure to harmful content are significantly mitigated. Parents and guardians can have a better peace of mind knowing that their children are using a device that prioritizes their safety and well-being and still allows them to communicate with their child via a phone call, text message, or email in exigent circumstances or whenever else you need to do so as a parent or caregiver.

 

#3 They reduced distractions by focusing on essential communication functions like calls and texts. They lack the myriad of apps, notifications, and social media features that often lead to constant distractions on smartphones. By eliminating unnecessary distractions, minimalist phones can help youth stay focused and present in the moment.

 

#4 They allow calls, texting, and the ability to listen to music plus other options such as a voicemail, call log, contact list, notes, camera (pictures/video), clock, alarm, timer, stopwatch, calculator, flashlight, calendar, sound recorder, weather, and maps

 

#5 They often offer improved battery life due to their simplified features and lack of power-intensive applications; minimalist phones typically have much longer battery life compared to smartphones. This can be particularly useful when youth are not necessarily diligent when it comes to keeping their phones fully charged.

 

As technology continues to advance, it is important to re-evaluate the terminologies we use to describe mobile phones. While the term "smartphone" has become widely adopted, it fails to capture the full spectrum of functionalities available in today's market. The concepts of fusion phones and minimalist phones offer more accurate descriptions of these modern tools.

 

We believe that promoting minimalist phones as a first phone, especially for youth, helps foster healthy digital habits and prioritizes safety, privacy, and overall well-being. As your child matures and demonstrates good digital literacy, then consideration can be given to upgrading them to a fully functioning fusion phone.

 

The Analogy of Riding A Bike When It Comes to Tech Integration, Benchmarks, and Our Kiddos

 

As mentioned earlier in this chapter, the age of a child is not the primary factor to consider. Instead, it’s their social and emotional maturity that should determine their readiness for independent use of technology without constant parental supervision. This is particularly relevant if a child faces challenges with conflict, lacks impulse control, or struggles to respect boundaries.

 

However, there are some basic principles for using and owning technology that we would recommend to parents and caregivers when providing technology to youth. Using the analogy of teaching youth how to ride a bike as a benchmark for their access and use of technology, we would recommend the following when it comes to phones:

 

Preteens - peddle trike approach:

 

Minimized mobility and no accessibility, enhanced stability, and full parental engagement and overwatch.

 

Instead of a fusion phone, we would recommend:

 

• A digital watch. Not an iWatch but rather a specific designed smarter watch for kiddos like the Garmin Bounce which can allow text and voice communication with your child, or

 

• A minimalist phone like the Sunbeam Orchid Flip phone that has the ability to text and talk only, and has no internet access capability

 

Younger teens - peddle bike with training wheels approach

 

More mobility with some accessibility, teaching and assisting with balance, allowing some increased travel distance online, combined with full parental engagement and overwatch.

Instead of a fusion phone, we would recommend a minimalist phone like the Ghost Phone Plus, the Wisephone, the Sunbeam Orchid phone, or the Pinwheel phone

 

Mid-teens - a bicycle built for two approach

 

Greater mobility and accessibility online, training wheels removed given balance has been learned but not fully mastered, but still parent guided.

 

Instead of an iPhone, we would recommend:

 

• choose a basic Android phone with a parental monitoring app like the Boomerang app https://useboomerang.com

 

• Combine both with the family-based messaging app Kinzoo https://www.kinzoo.com

 

Boomerang also has a FREE fully featured kid-friendly web browser for both the Android and Apple mobile platforms that we highly recommend called “SPIN”, which helps to block bad content such as pornography gambling, drugs, hate and racism, violence, nudity as well as many other categories. Not only does SPIN prevent private browsing, it also enforces “Restricted Mode” to help prevent inappropriate videos and searches on YouTube.

https://useboomerang.com/spin/

 

Here’s a great article on how to make the SPIN safer browser the default browser on Apple’s IOS14 

https://useboomerang.com/2021/01/29/make-spin-safe-browser-default-browser-ios-14/

 

We also recommend, based on financial ability, to further layer parental oversight by considering the installation of the Gryphon Router in your home and their mobile “homebound” app placed onto their phone.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QARebpaBZc

 

Older teens - mountain bike approach

 

Full mobility and accessibility, unlimited distance, full independence, and parent there if needed. Here, the teen is showing consistently good digital literacy and maturity so now the iPhone or iWatch as an option would be reasonable.

 

Remember, no matter what the tech, to keep our kiddos safer online, it’s all about a transformational approach to parenting in today’s onlife world, rather than a tech centric approach in isolation - something that we speak to here:

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/a-transformational-approach-to-parenting-in-todays-onlife-world/

 

Parenting Note:

 

Sometimes it is important for parents and caregivers to be reflective in our approach to technology. Denying access to an appropriate phone for a youth in middle school or high school to stay connected with friends, would be akin to us not having a landline when we were their age - just saying!

 

What if I Can’t Afford A New Minimalist or Fusion Phone?

 

As we have mentioned, it’s important for us as parents to exercise caution when it comes to allowing pre-teens and younger teens to own and have access to fusion phones (fully functional iPhones and Android phones). Instead, we recommend opting for minimalist phones like the Ghost Phone Plus,  Wisephone, the Sunbeam Orchid phone, or the PinWheel Phone.

 

However, what if a parent can’t afford to purchase a new minimalist phone, but they have an older iPhone that they can hand down to their child? Here’s a guide on how to repurpose a hand-me-down iPhone and transform it into a minimalist phone to the best of our ability as a parent:

 

Step #1:

Uninstall and delete all deletable apps that you don’t want to have on the hand-me-down phone. To delete the unwanted apps:

 

• Press and hold the app icon on the screen that you want deleted until it starts to jiggle.

   

• Locate the “X” symbol positioned at the corner of the app and tap on it.

   

• Click “Delete App”

   

• Repeat the process for each unnecessary app until they are all removed from your device.

   

Note: There are some apps that you will not be able to delete, like the Safari browser and the Camera function, but we will deal with these applications further down.

 

Step#2:

 

Set up “Screen Time Passcode” to help prevent your teen from changing any settings that you will make to the phone. 

 

• Click on the settings button on the main screen

   

• Scroll down and tap on “Screen Time”

   

• Scroll down and click on “Use Screen Time Passcode”

   

• Create a passcode, then re-enter the passcode to confirm. After you confirm your passcode, you’ll be asked to enter your Apple ID and password. This can be used to reset your Screen Time passcode if you forget it. If you don’t want to set this feature, just click on “cancel”. You will receive a prompt confirming you don’t want to use your Apple ID and password, tap “skip”. If you do decide to skip this option, make sure you store the password for your child’s phone somewhere secure just in case.

 

Note: Unfortunately, Apple only allows you the ability to use a 4 digital passcode, so don’t pick an obvious one like 1,2,3,4 or 0,0,0,0. Also understand that with time, effort, and a little luck your child may be able to figure out the passcode to allow them to alter the settings that you have put in place.

 

Step #3:

 

Disable the Safari browser from the phone which allows them to search the internet.

 

• Click on the settings button on the main screen

 

• Scroll down and tap on “Screen Time”

 

• Scroll down and tap on “Content & Privacy Restrictions”

 

• Toggle on “Content & Privacy Restrictions (make sure it is green)

 

• Scroll down and tap “Allowed Apps”

 

• Locate Safari and toggle it off 

 

• Follow the same process for any other App you find under the “Allowed Apps” category that you do not want to have your child have access to.

 

NOTE: Sometimes there may be another web browser app on the phone such as Google or Firefox.  If there is another browser, follow step #1 above.

 

Step #4:

Prevent Music and App Store Purchases (or to prevent the download of any app that was deleted)

• Click on the settings button on the main screen.

 

• Scroll down and tap on “Content & Privacy Restrictions.”

 

• Ensure “Content & Privacy Restrictions” in turned on (green)

 

• Tap on “iTunes & App Store Purchases”

 

• Adjust all settings to “don’t allow”. Make sure to review each section carefully to set the restrictions that align with your requirements.

   

Step #5:

 

If you wish to allow the device the ability to make calls or send and receive text messages over a cellular network, purchase a Talk/Text (no data) only sim card, and place it into the phone.

 

Note: Even without a Talk/Text sim card, if the youth still has a Wi-Fi connection they will still be able to text, or allow them to access any app that you may decide is appropriate to leave on the phone such as the notes app, calendar app, Maps App, or music app. 

 

Remember, no device, including a minimalist phone, should be allowed to be used in a bedroom, bathroom, or at the dinner table.

 

While the above-noted steps can indeed transform a fully functional iPhone into a more minimalist phone, it’s important to acknowledge that it’s still a functioning iPhone that, given sufficient time and effort on the part of your child, could be restored to its original state as a fully functional fusion phone with all its capabilities intact.

 

Another option to easily turn a hand-me-down iPhone or new iPhone into a hybrid minimalist phone is using a device known the the "Brick". Here's a link to an review that we did on the Brick 

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/product-review-the-brick-a-device-to-turn-a-fully-functioning-iphone-into-a-hybrid-minimalist-phone/

 

Don't Allow A Phone In The Bedroom:

 

As most of you know we believe that as soon as your child is accessing technology parents should be instituting our “Family Collective Agreement”.

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-power-of-a-social-media-and-technology-family-collective-agreement/

 

One of the rules in our agreement is no cell phones in the bedroom.

 

The two primary pushbacks that parents hear from their child specific to this rule are:

 

#1 – “I want to use my phone as an alarm clock”, and

 

#2 – “I want to use my phone to listen to music, podcasts, or audiobooks in my room.”

 

Well, we have a suggestion for both pushbacks for your consideration:

 

#1 – Buy them an alarm clock. The one we recommend is the ‘Sonic Bomb Dual Extra Loud Alarm Clock with Bed Shaker” which you can buy online from Amazon for about $64.99 

 

#2 – Buy them an MP3 player and we recommend 2 for your consideration:

 

OPTION #1 The Sandisk 8GB Clip Jam $52.99:

 

• Stores about 2000 songs

 

• 18 hours of battery life

 

• NO ability to browse the internet

 

• Built-in FM radio

 

This MP3 player is not waterproof, and you must use the included earbuds to listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast. It DOES NOT allow connectivity to Bluetooth headphones or speakers that you can buy online from Amazon

 

OPTION #2 The Sandisk 16GB Clip Sport Plus $173.00:

 

• Stores about 4000 songs

 

• 18 hours of battery life

 

• NO ability to browse the internet

 

• Built-in FM radio

 

• Waterproof

 

This MP3 player is waterproof. Not only can you use the included earbuds to listen to music, an audiobook, or a podcast, but this model DOES allow connectivity to Bluetooth headphones or Bluetooth speakers that you can buy online from Amazon.

 

NOTE – There are other MP3 players on the market, but many still allow the user to connect to the internet. The above two MP3 players DO NOT!

 

OPTION #3 The Mighty 3

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/mighty-3-no-screen-music-player/

 

 

Taking A Phone Away as Punishment: A Suggestion

 

In today’s onlife world, a phone has become the third appendage to our kids, and taking away a phone for bad behaviour is like the amputation of that third appendage.  We are not saying that taking a phone from your child is not an option, it is.  What we are saying – choose your battles carefully and don’t treat every situation like a nail and hit it with a hammer.  The hammer is taking the phone.

 

If your child was using their phone in a low-level mischievous way, and you take their phone as punishment, what do you think will happen when they are really in trouble online and need help.  Do you think they will come and tell you? Probably not because they are likely fearful that you will overreact and take their phone. Instead, think about an escalating scale that could include:

 

• first offence – verbal warning.

 

• Second offence – multiple chores around the home for the next week.

 

• Third offence – chores + take their power chord. Now they have to watch the battery quickly drain on their phone without the ability to recharge. This will drive them crazy

 

• Fourth Offence – chores + take the phone, remove the sim card, and replace it with a cheap flip phone which you give them to use for a week.

 

• Fifth offence – chores + no phone.

 

Again, in exigent circumstances, taking a phone away is likely warranted. However, if not an exigent circumstance, think about the above-noted escalating consequence to actions approach. You may also want to add this scale of consequences to actions to the Family Collective Agreement, thus making it crystal clear what will happen if your child is not being a good digital citizen with their phone.

 

 

Cellphones, and The Age Of Contractual Consent When It Comes to Teens In Canada!

 

Often, we are asked by both teens and parents, “what is the legal age in Canada for a child to own a cellphone?”  To be clear, there is no “criminal” law that applies to this question.  However, contractual civil law does apply.  Given that most cellphone plans require the owner to sign a contract, each province and territory has an age of contractual consent that needs to be met to sign such a document. If your child doesn’t meet the minimum age for signing a cell-provider contract, you will either have to purchase the phone and sign the contract under your name or co-sign your child’s contract.  Just remember, if you co-sign the cell agreement and your teen misses or is late on a payment, it will show up in a negative way on “your” credit report.  Here are the required contractual signing ages in Canada:

 

18 years in:

 

• Alberta

 

• Manitoba

 

• Ontario

 

• Prince Edward Island

 

• Quebec

 

• Saskatchewan

 

 

19 years in:

 

• British Columbia

 

• New Brunswick

 

• Newfoundland and Labrador

 

• Northwest Territories

 

• Nova Scotia

 

• Nunavut

 

• Yukon

 

 

To throw a monkey wrench into the above-noted information; anyone, no matter the age, can purchase a prepaid cellphone anywhere in Canada. Why? there are no “contracts” to sign specific to prepaid phones. So yes, your 13yr old, if they have the money, can purchase a prepaid phone without a parent’s consent or signature.

 

 

Emotional, Psychological, Physical, and Social Contraindications to Problematic Phone Use:

 

As we have stated several times throughout this web-book, when it comes to technology it is all about a balanced approach to the onlife world. Too much of anything, including the use of cellphones, is never healthy when it comes to a teen's emotional, psychological, physical, and social well-being.

 

There are “some” in our industry that like to push the phone “addiction” narrative, something that we speak to in chapter 11.  In fact, there is one social media advocate in Canada that states publicly that “84.9%” of teens are addicted to their phones, and that “phones are the most addictive thing we can give a child, more so than cocaine.” In fact, this same person stated giving  your child a smartphone is “like snorting a line of cocaine.”  There is NO evidence-based peer-reviewed research to support these juvenoic fear-based moral panic statements, NONE!  Of interest, this same person is selling a video-based “30-Day Digital Detox Program”.  Go figure!

 

So what does the good research have to say? One of the best reviews of the current research surrounding the emotional, psychological, physical, and social contraindications to “problematic phone use” comes from a 2021 literature review article from Dr Aviv M Weinstein, and PhD candidate Yehuda Wacks called, “Excessive Smartphone Use Is Associated With Health Problems in Adolescents and Young Adults” https://bit.ly/3zcJSjO 

 

In the summary of this literature review, the researchers stated the following:

 

“The excessive use of the smartphone has been associated with impaired cognitive functions and mental health problems. There are unique findings on the association between using smartphones, need of constant stimulation, deficits in everyday cognitive functioning and brain changes which should send alarm signals to clinicians and educators in the modern world.”

 

After reading the entire article, we agree with these findings with the following 3 caveats:

 

• The word “excessive” is important.  Again too much of anything is never healthy.

 

• The paper makes it clear that it's not how much time teens are on their phones, but what are they doing with that time that really matters.

 

• The paper also makes it clear that the contraindications identified are not global in nature with all youth who use phones.

 

• The paper makes it clear that there are studies showing changes to the brain with the excessive use of technology, but we don’t yet know what the negative or positive outcomes of these changes will be given the neuroplasticity of the brain. This is something that the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development study is hoping to identify. https://abcdstudy.org

 

In a 2022 peer-reviewed longitudinal research paper from Stanford Medical School http://bit.ly/3F5r4rp the age to which kids received their first cellphone had no “meaningful” impact on their grades, sleep habits, or depression symptoms.  The research went on further to state:

 

“our results suggest that it may be time to move beyond simply treating mobile phone ownership and acquisition age as unified exposures or behaviors for all children, and to investigate the potential implications of what children are actually seeing and doing on their mobile phones”

 

To be clear, do we believe that the unmediated overuse of a cellphone can lead to problematic behaviour in some youth? - Yes it can, and something that we speak to throughout this web book. Can a cellphone be more addictive than cocaine? - Absolutely not!

 

Remember, there is no "best age" to get a cellphone, but there are ways to introduce this powerful digital tool into your child's life. Given where we are today with good evidence-based research, we do believe that “reasonable” moderation and mediation of technology, including the use of cellphones, should be the goal of parents, something which we echo throughout this web-book.

 

The Impact of Parental Phone Usage on Teens – Setting An Example

 

In today's onlife world, cell phones have become an integral part of our lives, connecting us to the world and to each other. However, as parents, it's crucial for us to recognize that our actions with these devices have a significant impact on our children, especially teenagers. 

Our phones have evolved from mere communication devices to all-encompassing entertainment centers, work tools, and information hubs. While these devices offer undeniable benefits, they can also consume our attention to the detriment of our personal relationships, particularly with our children.

 

It's not uncommon for teens to voice to us their frustration about their parents' cellphone habits. They notice when parents prioritize their phones over meaningful conversations with them! In a world where teenagers are striving for independence and seeking guidance, our choice to be on our phones or technology instead of being present in their lives can sometimes lead to feelings of neglect and frustration in our kids.

 

One recurring complaint among teenagers that we hear – parents are often on their phones, scrolling through social media, or responding to work emails during family interactions. As an example, we have seen this at sporting events where a teen athlete is on the court and instead of a parent watching their child’s athletic endeavors from the stands, their heads are instead buried in their phone scrolling away. While parents may insist they are listening and paying attention, the reality is they are not. Teens can sense when their parents' attention is divided, and it can make them feel unimportant and unheard.

 

When teens attempt to engage in conversation with their parents, whether it's about their day at school, their dreams, aspirations, or concerns they might have, they desire genuine attention and engagement from their parents. By consistently choosing their phone over their children, parents can inadvertently send a message that their phone holds more value than their family relationships.

 

Teaching consent is an essential aspect of parenting especially when it comes to body autonomy, but this can extend to how we use our smartphones as well, especially when it comes to taking pictures or videos of others. Teens are at an age where they are exploring boundaries, both online and offline, and they often mimic the behaviours they observe in their parents. We are our kid's best teachers!

 

If we want our teens to understand the importance of obtaining consent before sharing someone else’s image, we must lead by example. This means asking for our kid’s permission before taking their picture or sharing it on social media. By demonstrating the importance of respecting personal boundaries, we help our teens develop a deeper understanding of consent and privacy when it comes to their use of technology.

 

One of the most critical areas where parental actions speak louder than words is safe driving. Parents frequently advise their teenagers not to text and drive, emphasizing the dangers of distracted driving. However, some parents are guilty of engaging in this risky behavior themselves.

 

When parents use their phones behind the wheel, they not only compromise their own safety but also set a hazardous example for their teens. It sends a mixed message that can undermine the importance of safe driving practices. To truly instill the value of responsible behavior on the road, parents must adhere to the same standards they expect from their teenagers.

 

As parents and caregivers, it's our responsibility to be mindful of our phone usage and its impact on our kids. The constant presence of phones can sometimes hinder our ability to connect with our kids on a meaningful level, leaving them feeling unheard and undervalued. By prioritizing face-to-face interactions with our kids and modeling consent in our phone usage, we can foster healthier relationships with our teens and impart important life lessons about consent, respect, interpersonal communication, and digital literacy.

 

Our actions speak louder than our words. By demonstrating through our own behavior the values we wish to instill in our teens when it comes to their phones, we can help them navigate the digital world with empathy, respect, and a sense of responsibility.

 

When it comes to our use of cell phones as parents - if you’re going to talk the talk, you’ve got to walk the walk when it comes to our kids!

 

Here's are recent article we published on this very issue

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/parents-your-kid-is-looking-for-you-in-the-stands/ 

 

https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-impact-of-parental-phone-usage-on-teens-setting-an-example/ 

 

Final Notes

 

• There is no one “right age” to get a phone.

 

• Minimalist phones can be a safer, more intentional on-ramp.

 

• Phones are tools—teach your child to use them with wisdom and responsibility.

 

• The goal is progress, not perfection, as we help raise digital citizens who are emotionally, psychologically, and socially equipped to navigate the onlife world.