Recently, several parents and caregivers have asked us about the new Netflix series “Adolescence”, wondering: Is the content appropriate for their kids? Can online content influence behaviour, particularly the actions of the character Jamie? What are the manosphere and Incel movements, and how do they relate to the story’s themes? What can parents and caregivers do to address the challenges surrounding these topics, including figures like Andrew Tate, who is mentioned in the series? We’re going to answer these questions and offer our perspective, without giving away major spoilers, for those who haven’t seen the show yet. Our Thoughts on the Series After watching the 4-part series, we can say that “Adolescence” is a well-crafted, thought-provoking fictional drama that aims to provoke discussion and reflection. The 4-part British series takes a unique “first-person” filming approach, single take with no cuts, immersing viewers in the events as if they were unfolding in real-time right in front of them. While the story is fictional, it sheds light on some of today’s real-world challenges that parents, caregivers, and educators should be aware of, particularly regarding the experiences of teen boys in today’s onlife world. The series opens by revealing “what” happened, a tragic act of violence, but leaves the “why” open to interpretation. In our experience, this mirrors real-life violent crimes, where understanding motivations can be complex. The show effectively presents clues that allow viewers to piece together a broader picture of the factors that may have contributed to the events, including parents asking themselves if they were partly to blame. Parental and Caregiver Considerations The series tackles difficult and mature themes, including radicalization, online influence, and toxic online communities. It introduces the concept of the manosphere and Incel (involuntarily celibate) movement, highlighting their potential impact that feeds on vulnerable young teen boys, but doesn’t really drill down into these issues, but we will in this article. It is our suggestion that parents and caregivers watching with their teens should be prepared for deep conversations about these topics and the broader issue of how online spaces can shape attitudes and behaviours, and we will provide our readers with the resources to do so in this article. “Adolescence” also clearly shows how a teen critical incident may have a long term emotional, psychological, physical, and social effect on all family members.  Something Darren saw time and time agains in his 30 year policing career.  A Critical Note If there was one criticism of the series that stood out as unrealistic to us, it was the depiction of the police response in episode one. The opening scene shows a heavily armed tactical unit (SWAT) breaking down the door of a home to arrest a 13-year-old boy. Based on Darren’s 30 years of experience as a police officer and duty officer who supervised such incidents , this level of force would be highly unlikely in Canada unless there were immediate, exigent circumstances. There are safer, more measured ways law enforcement would typically handle the arrest of a young teen, even one suspected of murder, than was portrayed in the opening scenes. Can online content influence behaviour? “Adolescence” shines a light on masculinity, identity development, parenting, family dynamics and violence, consent, relationships, school dynamics, bullying, peer pressures, and social media to brilliantly show how they all intertwine in shaping the experiences of teenage boys today. As youth and teen boys navigate the critical stage of identity formation (ages 12-18), they grapple with questions about who they are and how they fit into society. Unfortunately, this journey can be complicated by the growing influence of toxic gender expectations, especially as certain online spaces exploit their vulnerabilities. (1) Through education, we have learned that psychologist Erik Erikson identified adolescence as a time of "identity vs. role confusion.” (2) This developmental stage is when teens begin to form a sense of self, often experimenting with different roles and ideologies. In today’s onlife world, young men who feel uncertain or rejected by traditional masculinity often find themselves targeted by the manosphere for recruitment, a collection of online communities that exploit their insecurities, offering rigid and often harmful notions of what it means to be a man. (3) These groups use shame and guilt as tools to manipulate young teen boys, "sometimes" pushing them toward verbal and physical aggression towards females as a means to reclaim control - something we see demonstrated repeatedly in the third episode. The psychological pressure to conform to extreme versions of masculinity can lead to troubling behaviour, as was portrayed in this Netflix series, and seen in real-life incidents of verbal and physical violence stemming from young teen boys who feel alienated and misunderstood. When acts of violence involving young teen boys occur, the immediate focus is on the “what” happened, the sequence of events leading up to the tragedy. But the deeper and more difficult question to answer is the "why?" What societal forces, personal struggles, and psychological influences could have converged to push a teen towards violence? Teen boys today are growing up in a world shaped by cancel culture, the lingering effects of the pandemic, extreme ideological polarization, and increased family violence. In the show, the name Andrew Tate was quickly mentioned as one of the contributing factors in the cause of this extreme ideological polarization. (4) What is important to note - Andrew Tate's "red pill" ideology is totally different than the "black pill" ideology" of the incel movement, something that we find that most people are missing. However, both are concerning and something that parents, caregivers, and educators need to be aware of. Teen boys are caught between competing polarized messages: the “woke” left calling for gender fluidity and emotional openness and the “extreme” right pushing hyper-masculine dominance. This ideological tug-of-war creates confusion and leaves many young teen boys searching for an identity that feels authentic yet accepted by society and their peers. Not every teen boy fits the mold of what is seen to be "traditional" masculinity, and those who don’t can face rejection, both socially and within their own families. The pressure to conform can create intense feelings of isolation, frustration, and, in some cases, explosive anger. When boys don’t have a safe space to express emotions like sadness, fear, or insecurity, we have seen them channel these feelings into aggression, a response reinforced by toxic gender expectations that can often be focused against teen girls. (5)  This struggle is exemplified in the shifting psychological dynamics between characters, like Jamie and his female psychologist, in the third episode of the Netflix series. Jamie’s journey from vulnerability to aggression mirrors the internal battle that “some” young teen boys experience as they try to navigate what they see to be modern masculinity. The absence of healthy emotional outlets and the presence of toxic influences can turn self-doubt into destructive behaviour. Toxic gender expectations is not just about aggression, it’s about the complex emotional and psychological struggles that teen boys face in a rapidly changing onlife world. The key to breaking the cycle is not to shame boys for their emotions or struggles but to provide them with the tools, support, and role models they need to form healthy identities. By addressing these challenges with nuance and compassion, parents and caregivers can help their sons navigate masculinity in a way that fosters confidence, resilience, respect, and emotional well-being. What Can Parents, Caregivers, and Educators Do? A major UK government study, the largest of its kind, reveals a crucial truth,  Incel's and those who have adopted manosphere ideologies need mental health support. (6) Although there have been a few well publicized violent incidents involving Incel's, the research found that they are more of a danger to themselves rather than others . The research also found: Many primarily struggle with depression, anxiety, and self-hatred, not just anger toward women. They often feel isolated and lack self-esteem. The biggest risk factor for extremism isn’t ideology, it’s hopelessness and disconnection. While a small fraction of youth become radicalized, most are simply in distress. They don’t need punishment or shame, they need help. Here's a great interview with William Costello who was involved in the above noted research, that takes a deeper look into Incels. (7) Growing up is already tough. Add masculinity, identity development, parenting, family violence, consent, relationships, school pressures, bullying, the internet, social media, and the influence of radical online ideologies, and many boys feel lost. If a teen seems withdrawn, hopeless about relationships, or fixated on gender issues, they may already be engaging with Incel and manosphere ideology. This is why setting digital boundaries is crucial. With social media, AI, and algorithms designed to amplify outrage and reinforce existing beliefs, it's more important than ever to be aware of how these systems can draw teen boys into the online manosphere. (8) Tech rules at home go beyond just screen time, they’re about safety, mental well-being, and fostering critical thinking. It is also important that parents and caregivers get technology out of the bedroom. (9) In the series, the parents speak to the fact that they let Jamie retreat to his bedroom when he got home from school, where he was on his computer until midnight.  It has been our experience that a teen’s late night access to the internet, in the privacy of their bedroom, is when youth are often scrolling through sites online that they really should not be accessing. Lastly, in today’s onlife world, communication among young people has evolved dramatically. Emojis, those small digital cartoonish icons, and memes have become an integral part of how youth express themselves with others online. While emojis are often used to convey emotions, they can also serve as subtle indicators of deeper emotional struggles, such as depression, self-harm, or even thoughts of suicidal ideations. In “Adolescence”, the son of the detective was attempting to explain the meaning of several emojis specific to the Incel movement, such as the “kidney  beans emoji” and the "back pill emoji”, or the 80/20 meme , the theory that 80% of women are attracted to 20% of men, and that women only seek out men who are physically and socially desirable, which the parent just blew off.  Parents, caregivers, and educators - it’s crucial to understand that sometimes the way a youth uses emojis or memes can be an indicator of their mental well-being. If you don’t understand the language, then you can’t understand the context of their online communications. We offer a free resource to help parents, caregivers, and educators with this understanding (10) Important Note: It is important for parents, caregivers, and educators to know that the meaning of an emoji’s can differ from country to country and even school to school! In today’s onlife world, youth and teens are growing up in a world vastly different from the one we experienced. With the proliferation of social media and online platforms, navigating the onlife world can be daunting for parents, caregivers, and youth alike. However, by embracing certain principles and adopting proactive strategies, we can empower our children to thrive in today’s onlife world while maintaining a healthy balance between autonomy and guidance, while reducing risk at the same time. (11) So What Do We Think: “Adolescence” is a gripping and well-executed Netflix fictional series that raises important questions about youth, masculinity, identity development, parenting, consent, peer relationships, family violence, school pressures, bullying, the internet, social media, and the influence of radical online ideologies. While it’s not based on a true story, it uses creative licence, and its themes are highly relevant when it comes to "some" youth and teens in today's onlife world. However, due to its mature content and heavy subject matter, we strongly recommend that parents, caregivers, and educators watch it first before deciding if it’s appropriate for their child or student. If your teen does watch, be ready to have open, thoughtful and honest discussions about the show’s key messages based on the linked resources we have provided throughout this article. Digital Food For Thought The White Hatter Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech Post Script #1: Some are using this fictional Netflix series, and the fact that the writer of this series has joined the "Smartphone Free Childhood Pact" campaign, to justify restricting youth and teens from accessing cellphones or the internet until they turn 16. However, we believe that the series itself makes it clear that the underlying issues go far beyond just technology. While we acknowledge that the internet and social media can play a role in this complex issue, other factors are equally, if not more, significant such as family violence, tech companies that fail to filter out harmful manosphere content, and schools that are overwhelmed and understaffed leaving them unable to adequately identify and support students in mental health crises, just to name a few. As well, the police and the criminal justice system is often the only 24/7 resource left available to intervene, which in our view is the worst possible option from a trauma - informed perspective! The causes of teen violence is multifactorial, and a public health concern that we should all be alive to. However, "Adolescence" is a fictional portrayal, and we must be cautious about attributing the reasons behind teen violence solely to Incels, the internet, and social media as depicted in the series. There are many other contributing factors that are not addressed or even hinted at in the show. It's also crucial for our followers to understand that the scenario of a 13-year-old teen stabbing and murdering another teen, as shown in "Adolescence," is extremely rare. Post Script #2 It is important to note that this is not just not a "boy" issue. As Andrew Murfin stated. " Online spaces amplify toxic narratives – and not just for boys, but for girls too. Andrew Tate may dominate headlines, but influencers like Bonnie Blue and Lily Philips are equally damaging, promoting hypersexualised ideals of femininity that are just as hollow and harmful. Hypermasculine posturing and hyperfeminine performance both send dangerous messages: that value lies in dominance, conquest, or appearance. The damage is felt on both sides." (12) References: 1/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/rethinking-the-term-toxic-masculinity-how-language-shapes-conversations-with-teen-boys/ 2/ https://www.simplypsychology.org/erik-erikson.html 3/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers/ 4/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-contagion-effect-of-andrew-tate-on-youth-schools/ 5/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/social-media-gendered-misconduct-and-the-objectification-of-girls-in-schools/ 6/ https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/predicting-harm-among-incels-involuntary-celibates/press-release-incels-need-mental-health-support-rather-than-a-counter-terrorism-intervention-the-worlds-largest-study-of-incels-finds-accessible 7/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1ndxbD_nsw 8/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/understanding-algorithms-dark-patterns-and-how-to-educate-your-kids-about-them/ 9/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/keeping-your-kids-safer-online-the-white-hatters-7-key-principles-for-parents-caregivers/ 10/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-hidden-messages-of-emojis-algospeak-understanding-youth-online-expression-when-it-comes-to-depression-self-harm-and-suicidal-ideations/ 11/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/embarking-on-the-onlife-journey-together-7-key-parenting-ingredients-to-strength-enhance-online-safety/ 12/ https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7309508242768875523/

experience in presenting to over 655,000 students, most teens today are using social media platforms like Snapchat

content from the platforms they’re already familiar with such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Discord, Snapchat

Chapter 1: The Greater Good In this web book, we will discuss several concerns associated with the onlife world that both teens and parents need to be aware of and alive to. However, we want to emphasize that the majority of our teens are doing super-uber-cool things online and using the internet in positive ways—and we adults need to start acknowledging this fact. Youth are using the power of digital media and technology to explore, connect, create, and learn in ways we only dreamed of. Here are some of the positives we’ve seen the majority of teens engaging in: Pursuing their passions Gaining knowledge and self-educating  on topics they care deeply about Exploring identity and self-expression , and figuring out where they belong in this big, wonderful world Writing blogs and building online communities Gaming and participating in e-sports , fostering strategy, communication, and teamwork Learning to code and build digital tools Maintaining friendships and forming new ones , often with people from around the globe Streaming, creating, and remixing music Producing and editing videos , becoming skilled storytellers Engaging in constructive discussions  with like-minded individuals Taking action in social and political activism , supporting causes and driving real change Acting as digital first responders and peer supporters , helping others in times of emotional, psychological, or social distress The biggest shift we’ve seen in recent years? Teens are no longer just consumers  of social media—they’ve become producers  and creators  of digital content, knowledge, solutions, and movements. Real-World Youth Innovation Highlights Consider just a few of the many powerful examples we’ve come across: A BC First Nations teen  who built an app to preserve and teach her Indigenous language An 18-year-old in Vancouver  who developed an app to predict falls in seniors based on gait detection Two Alberta teens  who co-founded a software company while still in high school Three Nova Scotia students  who solved their school's Wi-Fi coverage problem through app development A team of four 11-year-old girls  who built an app to support peers with social anxiety and tied for third in a global  competition A 14-year-old girl  who invented a device to eliminate vehicle blind spots, earning a $20,000 scholarship A 15-year-old Ontario girl  who built a digital cane to assist those with visual impairments A BC teen  who created an app to support youth in responding to drug overdoses A group of Ontario high school girls  who placed third in a national cybersecurity competition A Grade 12 student  who developed a mentorship app to connect teen girls with women in tech, winning a $10,000 scholarship A New Brunswick teen  whose school-closure alert app is now widely used A 14-year-old in BC  who built a homework organizer app to help his peers stay on top of schoolwork A team of robotics students  who engineered a robotic wheelchair for a child with mobility challenges These are not isolated cases. This is a wave. A movement. A quiet revolution of youth innovation, empathy, and purpose that’s being powered by the onlife world. And yet—how often do we, as adults, amplify these success stories with the same energy we express fear about online dangers? Let’s shift the narrative. Let’s begin by celebrating what’s going right. Let’s lead with the belief that most  teens are not just surviving online—they’re thriving. https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/most-teens-using-tech-social-media-in-a-positive-way-case-in-point/   When to Be Concerned as a Parent That said, being celebratory doesn’t mean being blind to potential harm. Knowing that most of our kids are doing amazing things online, it’s also our job as parents and caregivers to know when to step in. So, when should you be concerned about your child’s onlife activity? Here are some red flags  to be aware of: Vamping:  Is your child spending long hours online late at night? Teens call this "vamping." Late-night screen time often disrupts healthy sleep cycles and may indicate overstimulation or escapism. Screen switching:  Do they suddenly close or hide their screen when you enter the room? This behaviour could signal they’re viewing content they know you’d find concerning. Secretive behaviour:  Are they reluctant to talk about what they’re doing online? Do they get defensive when asked about their activity? Homework deception:  Do they claim to be doing homework online, while teachers report they’re falling behind? Concerning content:  Have you come across unexplained sexual, violent, or otherwise disturbing content on their device? Unexpected communications:  Is your child receiving calls, emails, mail, or packages from unknown individuals? Predators sometimes switch to non-digital channels to avoid detection. Social withdrawal or behavioural shifts:  Is your child pulling away from family, acting out, or showing other marked changes in mood or personality? Parent Tip: Look for Clusters One sign alone may not mean much—teens are private by nature. But when two or more  of these warning signs start clustering together, that’s your cue to raise your antenna. Don’t jump to conclusions, but do initiate a calm, respectful, and non-judgmental  conversation. Avoid accusations. Lead with curiosity, not control. Ask questions like: “I’ve noticed you’ve been staying up really late online—how are you feeling?” “You seem a little distant lately. Anything going on that you want to talk about?” “You’ve always loved sharing what you’re up to. I miss that—can we catch up?” Your goal is not to police their behaviour—it’s to remain a trusted adult they feel safe turning to if and when something goes wrong. In the end, the onlife world is not inherently dangerous or inherently safe. It’s a powerful tool—one that reflects the values and guidance we give our kids. And when we engage with them in this world, not from fear, but from curiosity, respect, and hope? That’s when we empower them to do great things.

***Update March 2025 *** The London School of Economics and Political Science released and evidence-based report called "Smartphone policies in schools - What does the evidence say?, that should be read by both parents and educators. (6) They also further released this statement on the issue (7) In this 2025 released study from Great Britain titled "School phone policies and their association with mental wellbeing, phone use, and social media use (SMART Schools): a cross-sectional observational study" (8) researchers found: "There is no evidence that restrictive school policies are associated with overall phone and social media use or better mental wellbeing in adolescents. The findings do not provide evidence to support the use of school policies that prohibit phone use during the school day in their current form, and indicate that these policies require further development." Across Canada and the United States, a significant movement is gaining traction among parents, special interest groups, politicians, and even some educators to ban cellphones and other personal electronic devices in schools  (1) . Online campaigns are now emerging, providing parents with blueprints and toolkits on how to advocate for these bans within their school communities.  (2)(3)(4) Many of these articles, blueprints, and toolkits, that we have read in full, offer a variety of resources supporting the position to ban phones and other electronic devices in schools. However, a notable gap exists – few, if any, of these resources include solid, evidence-based research that questions the effectiveness of such bans. Contrary to what some are saying, there is a large body of such research that most parents and caregivers are unaware of and that we will speak to in this blog article.  Consequently, parents and caregivers are often only exposed to one side of the story, leading them to support these “banning” movements without a comprehensive understanding of the potential implications. A noteworthy example is the PEW research, which found that banning cell phones or restricting age-appropriate access to social media could be detrimental, particularly for youth targeted for abuse both online and offline. These young individuals often use social media to seek help and support  (5) If the goal is to equip parents and caregivers with robust, evidence-based information to make informed decisions, then it is crucial to present them with all the best and current evidence available from both sides of the debate. Providing a balanced perspective allows for more thoughtful and informed decision-making regarding the presence of cellphones in schools. To support this goal, we have developed four key resources that offer an evidence-based counter narrative to that of just banning phones and personal electronic devices in schools: Phone Ban Research: This resource delves into the existing and very current research on the impact of cellphones in educational settings, presenting both the pros and cons. It aims to give parents a well-rounded understanding of how phones can affect learning, attention, and overall student well-being. Phone Policy Recommendations: Here, we offer guidelines and recommendations for creating effective phone policies for all levels of schools. These recommendations are based on evidence and best practices, ensuring that any policies put in place are thoughtful and conducive to a positive learning environment. In this article, “Tech, Social Media, & Teens: Addressing Five Concerns with Research-Based Insights,” we aim to continue addressing other popular parental concerns with evidence-based information and perspectives surrounding the use of cellphones and social media Beyond the Ban – Creating School Environments That Embrace Safe and Responsible Technology Use! Emotional, Psychological, Physical, and Social Effects of Technology and Social Media: This comprehensive resource examines the broader effects of technology and social media on children and adolescents. It highlights the emotional, psychological, physical, and social impacts, providing insights into how these factors play a role in the overall debate about phone bans in schools. As the movement to ban cellphones and personal electronic devices in schools heats up and gains momentum across Canada and the United States, it is crucial to recognize the one-sided nature of the current debate. Online campaigns and toolkits promoting these bans are often one-sided and lack robust, evidence-based research that questions the effectiveness of such measures. Many parents and caregivers are only exposed to one perspective, leading to uninformed support for these bans without a comprehensive understanding of their potential implications. To ensure that parents and caregivers are equipped with the information needed for thoughtful and informed decision-making, it is essential to present all the available evidence. By providing a balanced perspective, we can foster a more informed discussion about the presence of cellphones in schools. To support this goal, we have developed the above noted three key resources offering an evidence-based counter-narrative to the movement for banning phones in schools that should be considered in the decision-making process. By offering these resources, we aim to foster a more informed and balanced discussion among parents, caregivers, and schools enabling them to make decisions that are in the best interest of their children’s education and well-being. Here's a great academic review of the research specific to this topic by Dr Pete Etchells who specializes in the effect of technology on youth and teens Digital Food For Thought The White Hatter Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Feelings, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Technology vs No Technology! References: 1/ https://macdonaldlaurier.ca/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/20240624_Social-media-and-kids-Bennett_PAPER-v9-FINAL.pdf 2/ https://www.awayfortheday.org/pushbacks 3/ https://phonefreeschoolsmovement.org/administrator-toolkit/ 4/ https://protectyoungeyes.com/phonefreeschools-how-to-talk-to-your-school-district-about-removing-smartphones/ 5/ https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2022/11/16/connection-creativity-and-drama-teen-life-on-social-media-in-2022/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email 6/ https://eprints.lse.ac.uk/125554/1/Smartphone_policies_in_schools_Rahali_et_al_2024_002_.pdf 7/ https://www.lse.ac.uk/media-and-communications/research/research-projects/eu-kids-online/bans 8/ https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanepe/article/PIIS2666-7762(25)00003-1/fulltext

We recently helped a student who shared that their partner demanded that their Snapchat location be turned

truly matters isn’t whether parents or caregivers know every single feature of TikTok, Instagram, or Snapchat

No Social Media: Without apps like TikTok, Instagram, or Snapchat, kids are less likely to encounter

one another, overwhelmingly the feedback favored iMessage over more visually dynamic platforms like Snapchat This movement away from Snapchat might be the reason why Snapchat’s stock as plummeted 88% in the past They also mentioned that Snapchat was an app they grew up with, which made total sense to us. While Snapchat’s appeal to older teens is undeniable, it also comes with potential challenges, such as Older teen’s preference for Snapchat doesn’t necessarily indicate a lack of responsibility but rather

Apps Even if the camera no longer stores location data, apps like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and Snapchat Here’s how to turn these off: How to Turn Off Snap Map Snapchat’s Snap Map lets friends see where a user Option 1: Turn On Ghost Mode (Stops Location Sharing Completely) Open Snapchat Pinch the screen like Option 2: Block Snapchat’s Access to GPS at the Device Level This is the strongest privacy protection Open Settings Tap Location Tap App permissions or App location access Select Snapchat Set to Deny With

Here is an educational example of one that we created of what a phishing message might say: Subject: Snapchat Snapchat is work with verified age-assurance partners like ConnectID and  Yoti to help complete this easier for our users that you can find here:  https://support.snapchat.com/age-assurance  We here at Snapchat want to ensure that your privacy is protected, and that you still have full access to your Snapchat Snapchat Trust & Verification Team Once the teen clicks the link, they are taken to a spoofed website

parents, have you ever wondered why your kids seem so captivated by social media platforms like TikTok, Snapchat Snapchat Method 1: Hide Certain Channels Open Snapchat and tap the Discover icon. Reset Snapchat Discovery Feed Open Snapchat and tap the profile icon.