Trends such as the rise of “BOP girls,” AI companionship apps, and polarized online spaces like the “manosphere ” and “womanosphere” are shaping how youth and teens think about intimacy, power, and consent. The Manosphere and Womansphere The manosphere consists of online communities that promote hyper-masculine Girls may feel driven to commodify themselves for validation, while boys may adopt attitudes from the manosphere how-ai-companionship-and-fantasy-role-playing-apps-manipulate-teen-emotions   5/   https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/post/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers

Chapter 2: The Internet Is Not All “Sugar and Spice” The internet is not all “sugar and spice and everything nice.” Sometimes, there are “snips and snails and puppy-dog tails” that we all need to be aware of. We would be negligent if we didn’t address some of the darker sides of the internet and social media—especially when youth are allowed to participate online unsupervised. Although we believe that social media, when used in a balanced and healthy  way, has more positives than negatives, there are onlife personal challenges  precipitated by technology that both parents and teens need to be aware of, including: Not getting enough sleep—staying on devices into the early hours Social comparison, especially around body image—on platforms like Instagram or VSCO Digital peer aggression—cyberbullying There is good research, which we’ll discuss throughout this web book, showing a strong association (though not necessarily causation) between these challenges and increased anxiety and depression , especially among teen girls. As Dr. Sonia Livingstone stated: “The very same characteristics of the internet that make positive contributions possible—immediacy, portability, intimacy, unconstrained reach, and lack of supervision and regulation—have facilitated serious social, intellectual, and mental health risks.” Teen-Based Less Than Desirable Behaviour Unfortunately, there is always a small cohort of teens who engage in less-than-desirable online behaviour. Some of the behaviours we have witnessed include: Seeking validation for inappropriate content Competing in ego-driven popularity contests Creating hate pages about peers, teachers, parents, or schools Venting or throwing shade at others Showing off for online attention Engaging in negative online drama Threatening, harassing, or bullying others Hacking school district networks Committing crimes online While these behaviours come from a small minority , adults often make the mistake of tarring an entire generation with the same brush. The reality is that the majority of this generation is doing super-uber-cool things online , and it’s time we adults acknowledge that. Sexual Predation & Exploitation According to the Canadian Centre for Child Protection , there was a 57% increase in reports of adults contacting children aged 8–12 online for sexual purposes via livestream in 2020 (up from 68 in 2018 to 107 in 2019). We posed the following question to the teens who follow us on social media: “Have you received an inappropriate sexual message, solicitation, or offer from someone you didn’t know online since the COVID-19 school shutdown?” 296 teens responded: 27% (79)  said “Yes” 73% (217)  said “No” Yes, this is anecdotal—but it provides a real-time snapshot of what teens experienced during the pandemic shutdown. We will be exploring the topic of onlife sexual predation later in this e-book. Parent Tip Although any youth can be targeted for online sexual exploitation, we find that those under age 13  are at highest risk . Wherever youth spend time online, there will be those who prey on their innocence—regardless of the app or platform. A U.S. colleague of ours, who teaches from a faith-based perspective, once told us that there are just as many youth being targeted in the Bible app for kids as there are on other mainstream apps. As we often say: It’s not the app—it’s how the youth use it. Hate Crime, Misogyny, Xenophobia, and White Supremacy (IMVE Groups) In March 2021, we conducted an anecdotal survey of our Instagram teen followers. We asked: “Have you seen racist or hate-based speech in your social media feeds?” 66% said YES. In fact, a 2020 study found over 6,600 right-wing extremist social media channels and accounts linked to Canada :📚  Read More According to Statistics Canada , police-reported hate crimes increased by 37% in 2020 . Unknown to many parents, young, socially ostracized males —including those in middle and high school—are primary recruitment targets  for radicalization. https://thewhitehatter.ca/parent-resource-guide-understanding-and-addressing-youth-online-radicalization/   With the right to freedom of speech come those who abuse that right to spread hate in all its ugly forms on platforms popular with youth. These groups often use social media to recruit vulnerable teens  and spread extremist ideologies . Two great resources for understanding and tracking these threats: www.antihate.ca www.adl.org 🎥  Watch:   The Fifth Estate ’s report on how IMVE groups use social media to recruit and exploit youth.  https://youtu.be/oRCxGq4tvUo Pornography and Hypersexualization Today’s online pornography is not the Playboy magazines that many of us grew up with—hidden under beds or in nightstands. It’s far more graphic, more aggressive, and more extreme. Some common categories in today’s porn include: Gagging Rough anal sex ATM (ass-to-mouth) Spitting Severe choking A 2018 study by the University of Calgary  found that 1 in 5 youth  reported unwanted exposure  to sexually explicit content. The average age of first exposure  is now estimated between 9 and 12 . We will discuss pornography and hypersexualization later in this web book. Onlife Shaming With mobile technology—phones, GoPros, smart glasses (like Spectacles 3)—comes the ability to covertly record and share  videos and photos. These tools can be weaponized to cause emotional, psychological, social, and even physical harm. Often, this is done for attention, likes, followers, or drama. Digital empathy and mindfulness are sometimes overlooked—or deliberately ignored. Social Comparison and Body Image Toxic online influences can deeply harm self-esteem , especially among young girls. We need to talk to our kids about this reality. According to Media Smart , 80% of 13–16-year-olds  are more likely to buy a product  or follow advice from an online influencer:📚  Media Smart for Parents 🎥  Dove Video for Parents and Teens : Watch Here We speak about this in more detail in Chapter 16  of this webbook. The Use of “Dark Patterns” A 2018 article  described dark patterns as: “Deceptive UX/UI interactions designed to mislead or trick users into doing something they don’t want to do.”📚  Read Article Examples that parents and youth should know about include: Algorithms that intentionally guide youth into toxic digital rabbit holes. https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/understanding-algorithms-dark-patterns-and-how-to-educate-your-kids-about-them/   Design features like TikTok’s infinite scroll  or Netflix’s autoplay , designed to keep users online longer and increase data collection. Prompts that push users to enable GPS tracking , often for location-based advertising (e.g., Snapchat Maps). Parent Tip We’re often asked: “Is there a safer search engine for kids under 13?” Yes! Try Kiddle.co —a child-friendly search engine that filters out inappropriate content. Online Gambling More parents are contacting us about youth involved in online gambling. This is a growing concern . https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/yes-some-youth-are-gambling-in-the-onlife-world/   https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/youth-teens-gambling-online-betting/   AI-Generated Content and Deepfakes One of the fastest-evolving concerns in the onlife world is the misuse of artificial intelligence to generate realistic fake content. Known as deepfakes , these can involve swapping a person's face into a photo or video, often without their knowledge or consent. Some of the most troubling uses include the non-consensual creation of sexually explicit deepfake images and videos of youth. A 2024 study published in Technology and Human Values  found that 90% of deepfake content online is non-consensual and pornographic , and virtually all of it targets women and girls . We are rapidly approaching a point where teens’ regular selfies—whether posted on social media or shared with friends—can be scraped, cloned, and manipulated into high-definition, fake pornographic content that looks disturbingly real. This is not science fiction or far-off in the future. It's already happening, and the tech is improving daily. Parent Tip : Talk to your child about the importance of protecting their personal images and data online. Encourage strong privacy settings and avoid posting high-resolution, front-facing photos unnecessarily. Think twice before sharing any image online—even “harmless” ones. As we often say: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. We explore this more in our section on Artificial Intelligence  later in this web book Sugaring and “Transactional Relationships” Online platforms, including Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, are now home to what some teens refer to as “sugar culture.”  This trend involves young people—mostly girls but also some boys—seeking out “sugar daddies” (or “sugar mommies”) in exchange for money, gifts, or material benefits. What often starts as what they perceive to be an “arrangement”  quickly veers into exploitation and abuse. The line between consent and coercion is blurred when teens, especially under 18, are financially incentivized to share explicit photos or meet in person. Key Point for Parents : Transaction doesn’t equal consent.  Under Canadian law, it is illegal for an adult to solicit sexual services from a minor. Even if a youth agrees to it, the law recognizes that power imbalance and criminalizes the adult’s behavior—not the teen’s. We explore this more in our section on OnlyFans and Digital Sugaring Economies  in later in this web book Self-Harm and Suicidal Ideation Communities Another darker corner of the onlife world includes online forums and hashtags promoting or glamorizing self-harm and suicidal ideation. While some online spaces offer genuine peer support and mental health advocacy, others descend into what researchers call “echo chambers of despair.” Platforms like Tumblr, Reddit, and even TikTok have hosted pro-anorexia (“pro-ana”) and self-harm content disguised as support. A 2021 study in JAMA Pediatrics  found a significant rise in ER visits for self-harm among adolescent girls , which researchers partially attributed to increased exposure to these kinds of communities during the COVID-19 lockdown. Parent Tip : Keep communication lines open. Ask your child what content they follow and who influences them. Reassure them that they can talk to you—even about hard stuff—without fear of judgment or punishment. Consider using parental control tools that can alert you to self-harm-related searches or content. Sextortion and Financial Blackmail Sextortion isn’t always about shame—sometimes, it’s about money. Increasingly, youth are being blackmailed not by older predators but by organized crime rings  who use fake accounts to pose as teens. Here’s how it typically works: A teen is approached by someone they think is their age. They flirt and exchange sexual images or videos. Suddenly, the blackmailer reveals themselves, demanding money or threatening to share the content with friends, family, or on social media. Many teens panic and pay, which only encourages further extortion. A 2023 FBI alert reported that over a dozen suicides of boys aged 13–17  in North America were directly linked to sextortion scams. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection echoed this concern in its 2023 report. We explore this more in our section on sextortion  later in this web book Mental Health Impacts of “Always On” Culture In today’s hyperconnected world, many teens feel they can never truly disconnect. Whether it's group chats that buzz 24/7, fear of missing out (FOMO), or the pressure to respond instantly, the constant digital noise can wear down mental resilience. Signs your teen may be affected: Irritability or mood swings tied to device use Insomnia or late-night scrolling Anxiety when disconnected Obsession with likes, followers, or views According to a 2023 Common Sense Media  report, 53% of teens said social media makes them feel worse about their body image , while 45% said they feel “addicted” to their devices. Parent Tip : Don’t just take away the phone—create meaningful alternatives. Consider implementing a family-wide tech-free time each evening, like “Device-Free Dinners” or a “Sunday Unplug.” Final Thought Yes, the internet is full of opportunity. Yes, it is a powerful tool for learning, connection, and creativity. But it is also filled with real dangers—especially for youth navigating it without a map or a guide. We owe it to our children not to fear-monger, but also not to sugarcoat the truth. As educators, parents, and mentors, our job is not to scare kids away from the onlife world—but to equip them to walk through it wisely. Coming Up: In the next chapter, we’ll explore what digital resilience looks like in action—and how parents can help cultivate it.

What are the manosphere and Incel movements, and how do they relate to the story’s themes? It introduces the concept of the manosphere and Incel (involuntarily celibate) movement, highlighting men who feel uncertain or rejected by traditional masculinity often find themselves targeted by the manosphere hopeless about relationships, or fixated on gender issues, they may already be engaging with Incel and manosphere , it's more important than ever to be aware of how these systems can draw teen boys into the online manosphere

Caveat - We wrote this article after reading a new April 2025 research study  conducted by the Movember Institute of Men’s Health titled, “Young Men’s Health In A Digital World” that was brought to our attention by our friend in the UK, Richard Pomfrett. What makes this research different, they interviewed over 3000 young men between the ages of 16-25 years of age to get their perspective. (1) As parents, caregivers, and teachers, it's important to understand a growing trend, online masculinity influencers are no longer on the fringes, they’re becoming a major force in shaping how young men think about themselves and their place in the world. Today’s youth and teen boys are growing up in a world of constant change, and adolescence has always been a challenging time. But now, many young men are facing higher levels of anxiety, loneliness, and risky behaviour, while also being bombarded by online voices promising easy answers and simple rules for how to be “a real man.” These influencers offer certainty in an uncertain world. They share step-by-step guides to success, confidence, and relationships, and that can feel empowering to a young person looking for direction. The new research from the Movember Institute of Men’s Health, (2) was based on insights from more than 3,000 young men, shows a complex picture. Many young men in this report say these influencers make them feel inspired, motivated, and more hopeful about their future. However, at the same time, this research shows that these same young men report high levels of stress, emotional struggle, and risky health behaviours. So what can we do as parents, caregivers and educators? We don’t need to shut down the conversation. However, we do need to reshape it, and here are some of our thoughts on how to do this based on what we read in this research: One of the most powerful things we can do for the young men in our lives is to expand what it actually means to "be a man." Too often, online influencers promote narrow, outdated, or even harmful stereotypes of masculinity, ones that focus on dominance, emotional suppression, and external success. But masculinity doesn’t have to fit into one box. We need to help young men see that there are many healthy, authentic ways to be masculine, ways that include vulnerability, compassion, cooperation, and emotional intelligence. By encouraging more diverse and inclusive representations of masculinity in the media they consume, and modelling those values in our own homes, we can help them form an identity that’s grounded in confidence and well-being, not fear or pressure to conform. Young people today are very well connected online, but that doesn’t mean they’re automatically savvy about what they’re seeing online. That’s why media literacy and emotional education are more important than ever. We need to give youth and teen boys the tools to ask critical questions about the content they consume such as; Who is creating this message? What’s the motive behind it? Is it promoting a healthy worldview, or exploiting insecurity? At the same time, helping teen boys recognize and manage their emotions is key to navigating the often-intense feelings that come with adolescence. When we combine media literacy with critical thinking and emotional intelligence, we empower boys to be active, informed participants in today’s onlife world, not just passive consumers. Too often, decisions about youth and teen mental health, online safety, and education are made without hearing from the young men themselves. If we want to support their well-being, we need to include them in conversations that affect their lives, this is why we loved reading this report, because that it what they did. That means involving youth in shaping policies, encouraging social media platforms to be more transparent and responsive to their needs, and holding tech companies accountable for how algorithms influence what young people see. When young men feel that their perspectives matter and their concerns are taken seriously, they are more likely to engage, speak up, and take ownership of their own well-being. We can’t support young men if we don’t meet them in the spaces they already inhabit. Today, that means showing up in digital environments that they frequent such as YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, and gaming platforms, with content that’s designed to support their mental health and personal growth. This isn’t about preaching or fear-based messaging. It’s about creating relatable, strength-based resources that speak their language, highlight positive role models, and offer real strategies for coping, connecting, and thriving. When we provide credible, youth-friendly voices in the same spaces where masculinity influencers are gaining traction, we offer an alternative that’s both empowering and constructive. The rise of masculinity influencers is not just a trend, it’s a reflection of a deeper need that many youth and teens are experiencing today which is the need for guidance, identity, and a sense of belonging in a rapidly changing world. As parents, caregivers, and educators, we can’t afford to ignore the powerful role these online figures play in shaping how boys see themselves and what they believe it means to be a man. We also shouldn’t respond with fear or attempts to shut the conversation down. Instead, we need to step into this space with understanding, compassion, and action. This means broadening the definition of masculinity to include empathy, emotional honesty, and personal integrity. It means giving boys the tools to think critically about what they see online, helping them build resilience and emotional intelligence. It means listening to them, truly listening, and making sure their voices are represented in the systems and policies that affect them.  It means showing up in the digital spaces they already inhabit, offering supportive, relatable, and healthy alternatives that speak to their realities. As parents, caregivers, and educators , our job isn’t to shield young men from the world, it’s to help them navigate it with clarity, confidence, and care. When we combine love, structure, and education, we can help ensure they aren’t just surviving adolescence, but thriving through it. Let’s work together to make sure the messages our boys are receiving, both online and offline, are ones that build them up, not break them down. When we support their mental health, we support their future. And that benefits everyone. This isn’t just about countering the negative, it’s about offering young men something better. Something real. And it starts with us. Digital Food For Thought Th White Hatter Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech References: 1/ https://cdn.sanity.io/files/d6x1mtv1/mo-com-production/2468e856e0806090ead9a3e49b53972496eaa971.pdf 2/ https://us.movember.com/movember-institute

teaching young boys to take what they want when it comes to their own success - something known as the “manosphere ” (1) The manosphere, a collection of online communities promoting hyper-masculine and often misogynistic In some manosphere circles, seeking clear consent is mocked as something only "beta males" or "simps" Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech References: 1/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers

understanding-and-combating-the-online-radicalization-of-youth-important-information-for-parents-caregivers-educators-school-counsellors/ 4/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers

conversations that parents, caregivers, and educators should be having with youth about the influence of the manosphere examples (10)(11)(12)(13) It should be noted that according to the public record, none appear to be manosphere Netflix series Adolescence has undoubtedly sparked important discussions around the influence of the manosphere Yes, we should absolutely be discussing the manosphere, misogyny, and Ideologically Motivated Violent should-you-and-your-child-watch-the-netflixs-series-adolescence-our-review/ 3/ https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/how-to-talk-about-concerns-surrounding-manosphere-messaging-with-teens-to-stimulate-critical-thinking-rather-than-resistance

brand of hyper-toxic masculinity that often objectifies women – sometimes known collectively as the “manosphere This isn’t an easy task, especially when very influential world leaders, and social media manosphere we increase all student’s critical digital literacy skills to understand the malign influence of the manosphere your-body-my-choice-hate-and-harassment-towards-women-spreads-online/ 2/ https://blog.aare.edu.au/what-schools-should-do-now-the-manosphere-thinks-its-back-in-charge a-high-school-list-turned-my-life-into-a-nightmare-you-need-to-warn-teens/ 5/ https://www.isdglobal.org/explainers/the-manosphere-explainer

pornography, sextortion, digital peer aggression, sexism, misogyny, drugs, and the growing influence of the manosphere If Andrew Tate dominates the online manosphere, Minadeo dominates the online far-right Neo-Nazi online

, especially boys, appearance based online content has become increasingly gamified by those in the manosphere looksmaxxing-the-growing-pressure-on-teen-boys-to-optimize-their-appearance 5/ https://www.thewhitehatter.ca/post/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers

media as a platform to amplify their message to create an online echo system, commonly known as the "manosphere v=E8Fy7EuysCY https://thewhitehatter.ca/blog/the-rise-of-the-manosphere-a-growing-challenge-for-schools-parents-caregivers / https://www.isdglobal.org/explainers/the-manosphere-explainer/ https://lens.monash.edu/2025/01/09/1387263

messaging, risky challenges, gambling themed content, sexually suggestive material, or aggressive “manosphere