The Surprising Upside To The Balanced Use Of Social Media: What Parents & Caregivers Need to Know
- The White Hatter
- 3 hours ago
- 6 min read
When parents and caregivers hear the words “teens” and “social media” in the same sentence, the reaction is often worry. Headlines tend to highlight the risks such as addiction, anxiety, and cyberbullying, while overlooking the positive ways these platforms can shape a young person’s life.
However, a new review of the academic research is painting a more balanced picture. (1) Social media isn’t just a place where teens run into problems. For many, it’s where they find connection, support, and even opportunities to grow. The real question for parents and caregivers isn’t whether to allow social media, but rather how to guide and sheepdog its use so the benefits shine while the risks stay in check.
The research cited above provides some important insight into why social media is not all bad news:
Connection and Belonging
Adolescence can be lonely, even for kids who seem socially connected. Social media helps bridge those gaps. Group chats allow friendships to continue after a move, Instagram keeps teens connected to schoolmates outside the classroom, and platforms like Discord help them join communities centred around shared hobbies.
These online connections can be deeply meaningful. A quick message from a friend can reassure a teen who feels left out. Sharing inside jokes in a group chat can create the same sense of belonging as hanging out in the cafeteria. During stressful times, like the COVID-19 lockdowns, funny videos, memes, or livestreams often served as daily mood boosters. For some, talking to a trusted friend online was the difference between feeling isolated and feeling understood. We like to call these youth and teens, “digital first responders.”
These friendships are not “less real” because they happen on a screen. For today’s teens, digital connection is an extension of their offline world, not a replacement.
Identity and Acceptance
The teenage years are a time of self discovery. Social media gives young people the chance to experiment with interests, styles, and self expression in a relatively safe environment.
For youth and teens from marginalized backgrounds, especially LGBTQ+ youth, this role is especially powerful. A young person who might feel judged or misunderstood in their hometown, or even in their family, can find entire communities online that reflect their experiences and affirm their identity. That validation can reduce isolation, build confidence, and even protect mental health.
Beyond identity, social media also nurtures creativity and curiosity. A teen interested in climate activism might join a global youth-led campaign. An aspiring musician can share original songs and get supportive feedback. A budding artist can find inspiration and encouragement by posting their drawings.
Rather than eroding identity, these platforms often help teens shape it, piece by piece, with the encouragement of communities that see and value them.
Access to Information
Today’s youth and teens don’t wait for a textbook or a lecture when they’re curious, they look online. Platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram have become hubs for everything from study tips and tutorials to wellness advice and world news.
Of course, misinformation exists. But youth and teens are often more savvy than adults assume. Many recognize ads and sponsorships, and they know not every video can be trusted. In fact, the cited research suggests that young people frequently cross-check what they see with other sources or peers before believing it.
Social media also fills gaps that traditional education or conversations at home sometimes miss. Youth and teens might learn stress management strategies from peers with similar struggles, or watch relatable content that makes topics like mental health, relationships, or body image easier to approach. For some, social media becomes a first step toward bigger, more open conversations with trusted adults.
When guided thoughtfully, these platforms don’t just entertain teens, they educate them, equipping them with tools and perspectives to navigate life’s challenges.
For parents and caregivers, the message is simple, social media isn’t black or white. It’s more like a tool, neutral on its own but shaped by how it’s used.
As Catherine Knibbs likes to say, “think of it like a neighbourhood park”. (2) Left unattended, kids might stumble into trouble. However, with guidance, encouragement, and clear boundaries, the park becomes a place where they grow, play, and build friendships. Social media can work the same way.
Rather than fearing it, parents can step into the role of guide and coach. That means staying curious about your youth or teen’s online world, asking questions without judgment, and being willing to learn alongside them. When you do that, you’re not just protecting them, you are empowering them.
Based on the above noted research, here are five steps you can take at home to help your teen get the best from social media:
1. Start With Listening
Before setting rules, ask your teen about their experiences online:
“What do you enjoy most about being online?”
“Who do you talk to the most on your favorite app?”
“Has anything online ever made you feel uneasy?”
These questions open the door for honest dialogue. When your child feels heard, they’re more likely to come to you when something goes wrong.
2. Notice the Benefits
Show your teen that you see the positives. Maybe they’ve built confidence by posting their art, stayed connected to a faraway cousin, or joined a supportive online group. Acknowledging these upsides builds trust and keeps the conversation balanced.
3. Talk About the Risks Without Judgment
Rather than warning about dangers, invite your teen to reflect:
“How do you know if something online is true?”
“What do you do if a post makes you feel bad about yourself?”
“Have you ever felt pressure to look or act a certain way online?”
This approach helps them build critical thinking skills and shows you trust their judgment.
4. Use the “5 Cs” Framework
Paediatricians suggest focusing on five areas when evaluating social media use: (3)(4)
Child: Why are they online—connection, relaxation, curiosity?
Content: What kinds of posts or videos are they engaging with?
Calm: Does it help them relax, or does it keep them wired at night?
Crowding Out: Is it replacing sleep, schoolwork, or time with family and friends?
Communication: Can they talk openly with you (or another adult) about their online experiences?
This isn’t about passing judgment. It’s about having a clear lens through which you can better understand your child’s digital world.
5. Build a Family Media Plan
Instead of focusing on restrictions, collaborate on a flexible family plan. This might include:
Device-free times: meals, before bed, or family nights.
Screen-free spaces: bedrooms or the dinner table.
Shared rules: parents model healthy habits too, like putting phones away during conversations.
When teens help shape the rules, and parent and caregivers follow the rules, our kids ae more likely to follow them.
6. Keep Checking In
Social media changes quickly, and so do kids. A 13-year-old’s needs will look very different by 16. Make regular check-ins part of family life. Sometimes, a simple, “What’s new on your favorite app?” is all it takes to keep the conversation flowing.
The goal isn’t to monitor every post. It’s to build connection so your teen knows they can come to you about the good and the bad.
Technology, the internet, and social media is a part of growing up today, just like sports, school, or friendships. It isn’t about shielding teens from it, but helping them navigate it wisely.
Yes, technology, the internet, and social media have their challenges. But there are also positives that can’t be ignored. These spaces can help youth build friendships, express themselves, and access information in ways that previous generations couldn’t. Like any tool, the outcome depends on how it’s used. It’s about risk management.
That’s where parents and caregivers come in. Your role isn’t to patrol, but to sheepdog, to guide, protect, and occasionally redirect when needed. Just as a sheepdog keeps the flock safe without stopping it from exploring the field, adults can help youth and teens navigate digital spaces safely while still allowing them room to learn and grow.
Balanced age and developmentally appropriate tech use isn’t about restrictions, it’s about relationships. It means checking in regularly, asking curious questions, and setting expectations that apply to everyone in the home. When parents and caregivers lead with connection and guidance instead of fear, they not only reduce the risks but help youth and teens make the most of the online world, turning technology into a tool for connection, identity, and growth rather than a source of conflict.
Your child doesn’t need you to be an expert in every app or trend. What they need is your presence, your encouragement, and your willingness to step into their digital world with curiosity rather than fear. With your guidance, social media can be more than a distraction. It can be a tool for connection, identity, and growth.
Remember, be your child’s best parent or caregiver and not their best friend when it comes to technology, the internet, and social media, there is a difference!
Digital Food For Thought
The White Hatter
Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech
Resources:
