From Passive Users to Active Shapers: Why We Must Include Youth & Teens in Today’s Onlife World Discussions

Conversations about youth, teens, and technology are often dominated by fear, risk, and control. These concerns are not unfounded, real dangers like online grooming, sextortion, misinformation, and algorithmic manipulation exist. Yet, the reality is far more complex. Youth and teens are not just shaped by technology, they also shape it, remix it, and push its boundaries in ways adults sometimes overlook or just don’t understand.

When we treat youth and teens as passive consumers, we not only underestimate them, we do them a disservice. Ignoring their agency is short sighted and unjust. We believe the challenge for parents and caregivers today is shifting from working for children to working with them when it comes to their use of technology, the internet, and social media.

The onlife world isn’t something that simply “happens” to young people. They are active participants, shaping its culture and testing its boundaries. At the same time, not every youth or teens approaches this world with the same level of maturity, access, or skill. A 10 year old scrolling through videos and a 17-year-old running a small online business require very different kinds of support. Recognizing this spectrum keeps our guidance realistic and grounded.

Youth and teens are creators, not just consumers. They aren’t simply scrolling through feeds or watching videos, they are producing their own. Many make short films on TikTok, design digital art to sell on Instagram, or develop modifications for popular video games. Some even use these skills to launch small businesses online. Their creativity doesn’t just fill the internet, it fuels platforms and communities, inspiring others and generating new trends.

They are also powerful influencers of culture. Much of what we recognize as “internet culture” such as slang, memes, and viral challenges, often begins with young people. Adults may later adopt these trends, but the spark originates in youth spaces where experimentation and humour thrive. In this way, youth and teens set the tone for how millions of people communicate and connect online.

Youth and teens are also among the earliest adopters of new tools. Whether it’s experimenting with fresh AI features, diving into new gaming platforms, or exploring editing software, they are often the first to test and adapt. Their willingness to explore shows us possibilities we may not have considered, reminding us that innovation often begins with curiosity and play.

This agency doesn’t erase the need for guidance, especially since adolescent brains are still developing in ways that affect impulse control and decision making. However, It does mean that guidance works best when it combines respect and collaboration with clear parent and caregiver led boundaries. Parents and caregivers remain responsible for setting limits, but those limits are more effective when young people feel their voices are heard.

When adults frame kids only as vulnerable, they miss the many ways young people actively shape outcomes in today’s world. This underestimation carries real consequences for families, schools, and society.

One of the first consequences of underestimating young people is mistrust. When youth and teens feel that adults only notice their weaknesses, they become far less likely to open up when challenges arise. A youth or teens who expects only criticism may choose to hide their struggles rather than seek support, leaving them more isolated at the very moment they need guidance and connection the most.

Another consequence is missed opportunities. When adults focus only on risks, they can overlook the moments when youth and teen creativity and innovation deserve to be encouraged. A youth and teen experimenting with video editing, coding, or building an online community is not just “spending time online”, they are practicing skills that can open doors in education, work, and personal growth. If the conversation stays focused only on dangers, parents and caregivers may unintentionally close off avenues for learning and expression.

We also believe that there are policy gaps to consider. When lawmakers and educators fail to include youth voices in decision making, they risk creating rules and programs that feel irrelevant or out of touch. At the same time, youth voices cannot be the only factor in shaping policy. The most effective frameworks are those that balance the perspectives of young people with the responsibility of adults to provide safety. This partnership ensures that solutions are both practical and meaningful.

The most effective digital parenting strategies acknowledge youth as partners in shaping their own onlife world, where online and offline experiences blend together. Making this shift requires practical changes in how adults engage with young people which we think should include:

• Active listening: Instead of slipping into lecture mode, ask open ended questions about how your child uses certain platforms, what excites them, and what worries them. Curiosity signals respect and builds trust.

• Co-creating rules: Boundaries are essential, but they are more effective when children have a voice in shaping them. Inviting youth and teens into the process doesn’t mean giving up authority. It increases buy in and accountability while keeping parents and caregivers in the role of final decision makers.

• Acknowledging strengths: Too often, conversations about technology focus only on risks or restrictions. Yet countless youth and teens use digital tools in positive and meaningful ways such as editing videos, building online communities, learning skills, or launching creative projects. Celebrating these achievements reinforces responsible, constructive use.

• Teaching critical thinking: Instead of banning exposure to challenging content, guide youth a teens in analyzing it. Asking questions like, “What do you think this video is trying to say?” or “Do you agree with the message?” builds reflection and resilience over time.

This generation is growing up in a digital landscape that is permanent, public, searchable, and powerful. Their actions online can shape politics, culture, and economies. To treat them as passive users is to misread reality.

Parents and caregivers don’t need to be experts in every new app. What matters is the willingness to engage, to see youth as capable agents, and to partner with them in building safe, meaningful, and ethical digital lives. As we often say, “don’t try to be their expert, be their best parent and learn together.”

Working with youth and teens doesn’t mean surrendering  parental or caregiver authority. It means combining firm boundaries with respect for their growing voice. The onlife world belongs to them as much as it belongs to us. Our role is not to shield them from it entirely, but to stand beside them as they shape it, because whether we admit it or not, they already are.

Digital Food For Thought

The White Hatter

Facts Not Fear, Facts Not Emotions, Enlighten Not Frighten, Know Tech Not No Tech